Wrong Number
by Plume-now
Summary: "Why do you care? We don't know each other." "Of course I know you, you gave me your number and your name, Torao!" "Wait, what? No, it was a mistake. And my name is Law, not 'Torao'." "Torao is good too." Law only wanted Bepo to help him at the hospital, he never asked to have this "Luffy" guy as a SMS penpal, all of this because he typed a wrong number! [LAWLU & ZOSAN] SMS convers
1. Chapter 1

Hi there! So here's my first LawLu fic in SMS, hope you'll like it. I've been inspired by one of my own fic in Supernatural I've re-read on ff, and my friend's ZoSan fanfiction too on AO3, **Fafsernir** , whose title is the exact same as mine. Okay, I stole it from her, but honestly it was the best one to give to a fic like this. And if you like ZoSan go read her fic, her ship is adorable from Zoro's pov!  
Anyway, this story is inspired by the prompt "wrong number" where someone sends a text to the 'wrong' person (well that's what they think eheh). The indication "[...]" shows that more than two minutes happened between their texts, it also can be hours but it's rare.  
Hope you'll like it, enjoy!

* * *

 **WRONG NUMBER**

* * *

"Need you at the hospital ASAP" – _Unknown number_

"Right now? Why? What's wrong?" – _Luffy_

"Just hurry!" – _Unknown number_

"Wait, who is this?" – _Luffy_

"Seriously! Law!" – _Unknown number_

"Law? What Law?" – _Luffy_

"Trafalgar Law. We've been friends for ten years, remember? Now stop joking and get your ass here!" – _Unknown number_

"I don't remember you. What do you look like? Are you one of Ace's friends?" – _Luffy_

"... No. Aren't you Bepo?" – _Unknown number_

"Nah, I'm Monkey D. Luffy! Nice to meet you!" – _Luffy_

"He gave me a wrong number, sorry if I disturbed you." – _Unknown number_

"No prob!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"So did you manage to contact your friend?" – _Luffy_

"Excuse me?" – _Torao_

"Bepo?" – _Luffy_

"Oh, yeah." – _Torao_

"Great! And how was it?" – _Luffy_

"What?" – _Torao_

"At the hospital!" – _Luffy_

"What do you mean?" – _Torao_

"Was it bad? Did somebody get hurt?" – _Luffy_

"Are you really interested in this?" – _Torao_

"Yeah, why not? I almost ran into a hospital to help you even though I had no idea what it was about!" – _Luffy_

"Do you honestly expect me to believe you were ready to give you time for someone you don't know in the wrong hospital?" – _Torao_

"Well as long as they are my friends, I don't mind and would do anything to help them. Except if it's about meat." – _Luffy_

"Meat? What does it have to do with all of this?" – _Torao_

"Meat has everything to do with anything." – _Luffy_

"Are you mocking me?" – _Torao_

"Nope." – _Luffy_

[…]

"Whatever." – _Torao_

"Did someone die?" – _Luffy_

"Nobody died. Why would you want someone to die?" – _Torao_

"I don't know, that's a kind of stuff which can happen in a hospital!" – _Luffy_

"Nobody died." – _Torao_

"Good!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Are you a doctor?" – _Luffy_

"Or do you have sick friends there?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"I'm a surgeon, and my friends are fine." – _Torao_

"I'm glad." – _Luffy_

"Why do you care? We don't know each other." – _Torao_

"Of course I know you, you gave me your number and your name, Torao!" – _Luffy_

"Wait, what? No, it was a mistake. And my name is Law, not 'Torao'." – _Torao_

"Torao is good too." – _Luffy_

"Okay, nevermind." – _Torao_

* * *

"Boreeeeeed." – _Luffy_

"Wait, seriously? It's been days, and you still have my number?" – _Torao_

"Well, all my friends are busy right now, and I'm bored." – _Luffy_

"What do you expect me to do about it? Are you using me as an entertainment?" – _Torao_

"I am not using you, I am texting you!" – _Luffy_

"Usually, you text your friends, not strangers. Unless it is one of your habits." – _Torao_

"Nah, and I told you: my friends are busy." – _Luffy_

"Text them and they will answer when they'll be free again." – _Torao_

"But I like talking to you." – _Luffy_

"I have no idea what the hell this means. This conversation is nonsense." – _Torao_

"Shishishi, Nami often says that too!" – _Luffy_

[…]

"What are you doing?" – _Luffy_

"Torao?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"Why do you keep talking to me? I don't even know why I am answering." – _Torao_

"Maybe because you're bored too." – _Luffy_

"I have tons fo things to do, don't go thinking you and I are the same." – _Torao_

"Hey I do stuff too! But I am not really good as waiter so Sanji takes care of most things." – _Luffy_

"Right. Sorry, didn't want to seem impolite." – _Torao_

"It's okay. So what are you doing?" – _Luffy_

"I was reading, phone opened in case of I'm called by the hospital for an emergency, when I got your texts." – _Torao_

"What kind of doctor are you really?" – _Luffy_

"People call me the Surgeon of Death. Enough for you?" – _Torao_

"Pretty smart! Zoro would love a nickname like this for sure." – _Luffy_

"Do everyone in your friends have weird name like this?" – _Torao_

"Depends on what you call a 'weird' name, Torao." – _Luffy_

"Nevermind. I have to leave you, I need to take a nap." – _Torao_

"Good night!" – _Luffy_

"It's the end of the morning, not even noon, Luffy-ya." – _Torao_

"I know! But when you say 'good morning' or 'good afternoon', you really don't imply sleep in it, do you?" – _Luffy_

"True." – _Torao_

"See yah!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Luffy. Did you _seriously_ ate everything we had in the fridge?" – _Zoro_

"No?" – _Luffy_

"Even by text I can tell you're lying." – _Zoro_

"I'm not! There are some vegetables left!" – _Luffy_

"Whatever, I'm going out to buy some food. Wherever you are, don't come with me. I don't have enough money for your meat and I refuse to borrow money from Nami again." – _Zoro_

"Don't bother, Sanji's invited us for the evening with Usopp and Chopper!" – _Luffy_

"Doesn't change the fact we'll have to feed ourselves one day." – _Zoro_

"Well Sanji cooks for us most of the time, and he doesn't mind, so I don't see the problem. I mean, it's not like your food was _bad_ or anything, but Sanji's the best!" – _Luffy_

"Still, not going to rely on him for the rest of my life." – _Zoro_

"By the way, are you still talking to that Law-stranger?" – _Zoro_

"Torao? Yeah! We're friends! Why?" – _Luffy_

"Just asking." – _Zoro_

"This is about Sanji right?" – _Luffy_

"What does the shitty cook have to do with this?!" – _Zoro_

"You brought Torao up in the first place even though he didn't had anything to do with our conversation! Robin told me, it's a technique people use when they don't want to talk about something, they ask you stuff about yourself. And you're so pleased to talk about you you don't notice it. Are you relieved not to talk about Sanji, Zoro?" – _Luffy_

"You really should stop talking to Robin, she's putting weird ideas in your head." – _Zoro_

"Shishishi, I knew it!" – _Luffy_

"What?! There's nothing to know. I'm leaving now, see you in half an hour, I won't be long." – _Zoro_

"More like two hours, as you'll get lost again for sure!" – _Luffy_

"I know where we're living Luffy!" – _Zoro_

"Yeah, I know, you're improving yourself! Before it was taking you three hours to come back!" – _Luffy_

"Fuck you." – _Zoro_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"Did you just send me a pic of your fridge full of food?" – _Torao_

"Yeah! Zoro bought everything today!" – _Luffy_

"Who's Zoro already?" – _Torao_

"My room-mate and best friend! He's a kendo teacher." – _Luffy_

"Nice." – _Torao_

"Okay, as a doctor I _have_ to say, this fridge is _absolutely not_ healthy at all. Where are the vegetables? The fishes? Do you only eat meat?" – _Torao_

"Meat is the only thing I need!" – _Luffy_

"And there're cucumbers if you look on the right side, below." – _Luffy_

"Is it the picture or their colour is weird?" – _Torao_

"No, it's blue!" – _Luffy_

"How the fuck did you manage to make you cucumbers blue?!" – _Torao_

"Dunno." – _Luffy_

"Just throw it away if you don't want to die and buy real food already." – _Torao_

"Just because a cucumber doesn't have the same colour as the others you have to throw it away? That's discrimination!" – _Luffy_

"No, that's common sense. But go ahead, eat it if you wish to be sick." – _Torao_

"Zoro threw it away, he says it smelled bad." – _Luffy_

"You really are something." – _Torao_

* * *

"We'll be here around 8pm!" – _Luffy_

"Diner will be ready by then, thanks for telling. But you're sure? It's a bit early." – _Sanji_

"Zoro found Usopp in his way home, so yeah sorry!" – _Luffy_

"This damn moss-head. Don't forget to call, the ring is broken." – _Sanji_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"What the fuck is that?!" – _Sanji_

"A cucumber!" – _Luffy_

"Why the heck is your cucumber blue?!" – _Sanji_

"So Torao was right, it's not normal." – _Luffy_

"Of course not! Don't eat this shit, throw it away! And who's Torao?" – _Sanji_

"Zoro did it. And Torao's new friend of mine!" – _Luffy_

"Good luck to him." – _Sanji_

"What?" – _Luffy_

"Nothing, now go prepare yourself and be here in time or I'm giving everything to Usopp and Chopper." – _Sanji_

"Don't do that I'll be here!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Hi there!" – _Torao_

"Hey!" – _Luffy_

"How are you doing?" – _Torao_

"Great! I'm at a friend's for the evening right now. What about you?" – _Luffy_

"Awesome. So, who are you and what are you doing in your life?" – _Torao_

"This isn't Torao, right?" – _Luffy_

"Torao? Who's that?" – _Torao_

"Torao... is what I call Law." – _Luffy_

"Oh right! Didn't read all the messages sorry – even though I'm pretty sure Law erased some. I'm- well _we are–_ Penguin and Shachi, Law's friends. He left his phone on the bar without looking at it for a sec, couldn't help but look." – _Torao_

"Oh so he doesn't know?" – _Luffy_

"Nope!" – _Torao_

"We just wanted to know who he was talking to lately, as his phone always seemed to ring, at least more than usual." – _Torao_

"You're working with him at the hospital?" – _Luffy_

"Yes. And you're a waiter, right?" – _Torao_

"Yeah!" – _Luffy_

"Fuck, Law's coming back, gotta go and delete the messages. Don't tell him we talked!" – _Torao_

"Okay, it was nice to meet you!" – _Luffy_

"... What are you talking about?" – _Torao_

"Nothing." – _Luffy_

"Penguin and Shachi have been talking to you, didn't they?" – _Torao_

"Who?" – _Luffy_

"You're a very bad liar." – _Torao_

"I know." – _Luffy_

"Anyway what have they been telling you?" – _Torao_

"Nothing." – _Luffy_

"Come on, really?" – _Torao_

"You've got nice friends! Don't be mad at them." – _Luffy_

"Honestly I don't know what I'm doing here." – _Torao_

"You keep asking yourself that but yet, you're still answering!" – _Luffy_

"Right, I should block you." – _Torao_

"No don't!" – _Luffy_

"Why not?" – _Torao_

"Told you, I like our conversations." – _Luffy_

* * *

"Did you block me in the end?" – _Luffy_

"No." – _Torao_

"And you're not sleeping?" – _Luffy_

"Yes I am. That's why I'm replying right now. I text in my sleep. A very bad flaw of mine." – _Torao_

"Oh really?!" – _Luffy_

"... Of course not." – _Torao_

"Oh." – _Luffy_

"Did you really expect a proper answer to this 'are you sleeping' question?" – _Torao_

"What I meant is that it's late!" – _Luffy_

"I don't sleep much." – _Torao_

"Insomnia?" – _Luffy_

"Kind of." – _Torao_

"You?" – _Torao_

"Just wanted to text you before going to sleep." – _Luffy_

"Good, now you did it. So good night." – _Torao_

"Good night!" – _Luffy_

* * *

So did you like it? Was it in-character enough for you? Even though it's an alternative universe, I try my best to keep the characters right! If you have any suggestions about this chapter, do not hesitate.  
Please, leave me a comment to let me know what you've thought!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi everyone! So first I have to say there's basically a lot of ZoSan in this chapter, but promise more LawLu are coming!

I really want to thank three persons, **CharcoalAndPaper** for trying to help me with the ideas (by the way, the first sentence's for you), **SpuffyShippeuse2016Hufflepuff** for helping me with the mistakes and **Fafsernir** for everything I've just said - I have to remind you English isn't my first language so I can have some difficulties sometimes, and I'm very sorry for the mistake you'll find.  
To finish, thank you everyone for all the favorites, follows and comments too, it was really nice to see how much you liked it and I was so happy frjkggkjfgfkjgfg. Anyway, enough talking, enjoy!

* * *

 **WRONG NUMBER**

* * *

"You've lost." – _Sanji_

"What? What the fuck are you talking about, curly-brow?" – _Zoro_

"C'mon, don't tell me you don't know the rules!" – _Sanji_

"I didn't lose anything, and even less against you shitty cook." – _Zoro_

"Are you really that stupid? This is not about our fights, it's a game, don't you see?" – _Sanji_

"Wait forget the first question the answer is quite obvious." – _Sanji_

"I swear I'll cut you in half, ero-cook!" – _Zoro_

"Hey do you want me to explain or what?" – _Sanji_

"... Or maybe it is too complicated for your brain in seaweed?" – _Sanji_

"What's nice with phones is that I don't have to hear your _shitty_ voice nor see your _creepy_ face, and can ignore you all the time I wish." – _Zoro_

"Great so why don't you do it, marimo?" – _Sanji_

"If I'm not here who would bother you as much as you do it for me?" – _Zoro_

"Whatever." – _Sanji_

[…]

"And about the game?" – _Zoro_

"What, you wanna know now?" – _Sanji_

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?" – _Zoro_

"Didn't know you could even understand my language tbh" – _Sanji_

"I swear to god..." – _Zoro_

"The game is that you must not think about the game. If you think about it you lose, and then you have to say to someone else something like 'shit I've thought about the game I've lost!' and if the person knows it they lose too etc." – _Sanji_

[...]

"... That game is stupid and nonsense." – _Zoro_

"Just like you." – _Sanji_

"You shouldn't call the others what you are and cannot admit." – _Zoro_

"Moreover it means then you've lost first." _– Zoro_

"So _you_ are the loser, not I." – _Zoro_

[…]

"Did I hurt your pride so bad you can't even respond?" – _Zoro_

"Gosh you're just so childish I don't get why I texted you in the first place." – _Sanji_

[…]

"Are you coming over my place tonight?" – _Sanji_

"Luffy told you yeah for me not even half an hour ago. Are you deaf or is it Alzheimer already?" – _Zoro_

"Yes I think so. That's why I'll forget your meal on the fire and won't hear you calling me, asking me for your way home." – _Sanji_

"You son of a bitch. And I only did that once!" – _Zoro_

"Yeah, when we barely knew each other." – _Sanji_

"Good time." – _Zoro_

"Good time indeed." – _Sanji_

[...]

"Burn my food and I'll cut your kitchen in two, creepy cook." – _Zoro_

"Just try me, moss head." – _Sanji_

* * *

"Hello!" – _Luffy_

"So you're going to say 'good night' and 'hello' everyday to me?" – _Torao_

"Maybe why not? What's the matter with that?" – _Luffy_

"Nothing, everything is alright." – _Torao_

"Today is my day off, and I have absolutely no idea about what to do..." – _Luffy_

"Nothing in mind, uh?" – _Torao_

"Nope on the contrary: too much! I have to go see Usopp for his last stories, it's been a while since I last went to Franky's too, and if for once Zoro and Sanji get along without trying to kill each other I'm thinking aout going to watch a movie with Usopp!" – _Luffy_

"Well if I have somewhere and somehow expressed something you misunderstood like sympathy or kindness towards you, I've never asked for being your living agenda for the day, thank you very much." – _Torao_

"In other words, I don't care." – _Torao_

"What, aren't you interested in knowing more about each other?" – _Luffy_

"I honestly don't know if I want to go further there, considering how mad you looked lately." – _Torao_

"Is it about the cucumbers?" – _Luffy_

"No but seriously Torao! It's been days- weeks we've been talking, and I still don't know a thing about you except the fact you're a surgeon!" – _Luffy_

"Okay, let's imagine a moment I'd answer that, what would you ask me?" – _Torao_

"Well obviously the most important question." – _Luffy_

"Which is?" – _Torao_

"Do you like meat?" – _Luffy_

"..." – _Torao_

"I don't know what I was expecting but it was obviously not this." – _Torao_

"I'm being very serious!" – _Luffy_

"Don't doubt that." – _Torao_

"So?" – _Luffy_

"Not particularly." _– Torao_

"GREAT!" – _Luffy_

"Aren't you disappointed I don't share your unconditional love for meat?" – _Torao_

"Nope! It makes more for me!" – _Luffy_

"Right, I should have thought about that." – _Torao_

[…]

"What are you planning to do today?" – _Luffy_

"My job." – _Torao_

"That's all?" – _Luffy_

"Well yeah. It's taking a hell part of my time." – _Torao_

"Don't you want to rest sometimes? You look like you're always working, and you only answer the evening or during lunch." – _Luffy_

"Be glad I at least reply." – _Torao_

"As a non-doctor I think you work too much and shoud have fun more often. And sleep more." – _Luffy_

"Is this a kind of non-doctor prescription?" – _Torao_

"Yeah!" – _Luffy_

"What if I refuse?" – _Torao_

"Why would you refuse something which is good for you?" – _Luffy_

"Because I don't have a choice." – _Torao_

"I'm giving you a choice!" – _Luffy_

"How old are you? Ten? Life doesn't give us choices." – _Torao_

"It does, you just don't want to see them." – _Luffy_

[…]

"Whatever you say, Luffy-ya." – _Torao_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"Relieved not to see any blue cucumber." – _Torao_

"Told you, Zoro threw it! So what do you think?!" – _Luffy_

"Well it's very... red." – _Torao_

"I cooked it myself!" – _Luffy_

"The one from yesterday looked better." – _Torao_

"Of course it did, it was Sanji's! He's a Sous-Chef!" – _Luffy_

"The one working with you?" – _Torao_

"Yeah! Are all your friends working at the hospital with you?" – _Luffy_

"Mostly yeah." – _Torao_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"You told me to send you the movie I'd choose before telling Zoro and Sanji so there it is!" – _Luffy_

"... Luffy how did you manage to find a movie about cooking? Is there only food in your life?!" – _Nami_

"No I have my friends too! But I thought it would be cool as Sanji would be interested in it, Usopp woulnd't mind and Zoro will sleep anyway. Honestly there were an adventure film with awesome robots I wanted to watch in the first place too though..." – _Luffy_

"Usopp?" – _Nami_

"Damn, that's exactly why I asked you to tell me what you've chosen first..." – _Nami_

"Well _I_ don't get it! You're not coming so why bother about this?!" – _Luffy_

"Luffy... have you listened when we talked about it with the others?" – _Nami_

"Nah, there was a cool video Usopp was showing me on his phone!" – _Luffy_

"So this idiot doesn't know either..." – _Nami_

"I'm pretty sure you're face palming right now" – _Luffy_

"Well guessed." – _Nami_

"Did I miss something?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah pretty much everything! No one is coming because we just want them to stop fighting maybe and spend a nice moment together." – _Nami_

"Who? Zoro and Sanji? Ahah, they'll never stop fighting! :D" – _Luffy_

"Sometimes I'm wondering why on Earth am I frined with people such as you..." – _Nami_

"Wait, so you _are_ free but don't want to come?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah" – _Nami_

"But that's mean! I thought we were _friends_!" – _Luffy_

"God damnit Luffy I just told you no one is coming to leave Zoro and Sanji alone together! We're trying to do an effort for once!" – _Nami_

"Oh. OH. So I can't come either?" – _Luffy_

"Neither Usopp nor you" – _Nami_

"And you are NOT telling Zoro about this. This is a secret." – _Nami_

"Why don't we simply tell them to spend a moment together to make out?" – _Luffy_

"That's... not how this works Luffy." – _Nami_

"Maaah, people are so complicated!" – _Luffy_

"Just don't tell them if you do they'll never come." – _Nami_

* * *

"Usopp?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah? So you've chosen our movie for tonight?" – _Usopp_

"We're not going... Only Zoro and Sanji have the right to hang out, Nami told me..." – _Luffy_

"What?! That's unfair!" – _Usopp_

"Yeah but if Zoro is out, maybe you can also come over to play video games!" – _Luffy_

"Oh man, right! I've just bought a new one Luffy you're gonna _love_ it!" – _Usopp_

"YEAHH awesome! Can't wait!" – _Luffy_

"Please this time don't break the TV Zoro almost got me killed last time." – _Luffy_

"I know. We'll do our best." – _Usopp_

* * *

"Zoro, I've found a movie to watch!" – _Luffy_

"Right what is it?" – _Zoro_

"It's a Disney cartoon, ever heard of _Zootopia_? The main character wishes for her dreams to come true and does everything she can to fulfill them!" – _Luffy_

"Not bad, I'm going to take a look at it. Did you tell the cook and Usopp?" – _Zoro_

"Yeah, but Usopp can't come in the end, and Sanji's answering right now!" – _Luffy_

"Shit. Everything's fine?" – _Zoro_

"Don't worry he's okay!" – _Luffy_

"And the love cook, does he agree?" – _Zoro_

"Hey you have his number you know, I'm not your mail box!" – _Luffy_

"Got it." – _Zoro_

* * *

"Hey, moss-head." – _Sanji_

[…]

"You ok for the movie?" – _Zoro_

"I am. Nami-san told me she loved it I wanna go and talk to her about it after! You?" – _Sanji_

"Unfortunately, I'm coming too." – _Zoro_

* * *

"You've lost!" – _Luffy_

"What? What did I lose?" – _Torao_

"I don't know, did you lose something?" – _Luffy_

"No? I would know if I did, why are you saying this?" – _Torao_

"No idea, Zoro told me it was the game!" – _Luffy_

"I think you had a bad explanation, or you didn't listen, because it doesn't make sense right now." – _Torao_

"I know right! I told him so but he replied it was 'the stupid cook's idea'!" – _Luffy_

"The stupid cook?" – _Torao_

"That's how he calls Sanji" – _Luffy_

"Very nice of him" – _Torao_

"They're always giving each other mean nicknames but they're not actually thinking them. They really like each other!" – _Luffy_

[…]

"Weren't you supposed to go watch a movie today, by the way?" – _Torao_

"So you _do_ have some interests in my life!" – _Luffy_

"Forget what I've just said." – _Torao_

"I had, but Nami forbid me to go because of Zoro and Sanji. She and the others want them to be 'alone together'." – _Luffy_

"Do they know?" – _Torao_

"Absolutely not! Didn't say anything!" – _Luffy_

"... Isn't it a kind of conspiracy?" – _Torao_

"As long as they are okay I don't really care." – _Luffy_

"Don't you think they'll take it bad?" – _Torao_

"Nah, they'll be angry at first but then enjoy (in deny) and will eventually make out. One day." – _Luffy_

"You and your friends are not normal people." – _Torao_

"What makes you think that?" – _Luffy_

"A feeling." – _Torao_

"Shishishi, you're funny!" – _Luffy_

"What?" – _Torao_

"I like you!" – _Luffy_

"..." – _Torao_

"What's wrong?" – _Luffy_

"Nothing, just confirmation of what I've just said two minutes ago." – _Torao_

* * *

"I'm on your door!" – _Usopp_

"Coming!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Luffy, the fuck you are?" – _Zoro_

"Luffy?" – _Zoro_

[Phone call, no answer]

"Luffy for god's sake, the movie is about to begin!" – _Zoro_

"..." – _Zoro_

"I swear if I learn any of this is planned" – _Zoro_

"You'll regret it." – _Zoro_

* * *

"Oi, Luffy what are you doing? You are not allowed to miss this appointment on a day off!" – _Sanji_

"The green algae is pissing me off, hurry." – _Sanji_

"I only came because of you don't tell me you forgot and left us alone together!" – _Sanji_

[…]

"I'll make you pay." – _Sanji_

* * *

"This is your doing, right?" – _Zoro_

"I don't know what you are talking about, Zoro-kun." – _Robin_

"My ass you don't! Was it yours or the red witch's?!" – _Zoro_

"Who knows? ;)" – _Robin_

* * *

So how was it? Did you like it? Sorry there were really a lot of conversations about Zoro and Sanji but god, those two are horrible to put in relationship, aren't they?  
Don't hesitate and tell me what you liked/didn't like so I can improve myself for the next chapters! Thank you for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

I have lots of people I have to thank for this chapter. As usual, **Fafersnir** , but also **CharcoalAndPaper** , **Miss-LittleGiant** and **Saluzozette** , and all of you, guys, for your wonderful comments. You really rock.  
Oh, and I'm really late, but I have two good reasons: first of all, uni is complicated, and damn, I wrote the entire chapter like a month ago but lost everything the second after when I tried to send it to my computer from my phone where I had written the main parts. Fortunately I had kept some discussions but it was very hard to take, like a punch in the stomach.

This chapter has a lot of 'brotp conversation' in it. Because to me, One Piece's definition is friendship/nakamaship. Texting exchanges are like the perfect way to emphasize it!

Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter now!

* * *

 **CHAPTER III**

* * *

"Hey, Luffy!" – _Unkown number_

"Yeah?" – _Luffy_

"It's Shachi and Penguin again!" – _Unknown number_

"Who?" – _Luffy_

"Law's friends!" – _Unknown number_

"Oh hey guys! How are you doing since last time?" – _Luffy_

"Well better, almost thought Law would kill us just by the way he was looking at us!" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"Shishishi, I guess he'll be over it after some time~" – _Luffy_

"... Are you sure you never met Law?" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"Well I only know one Torao! Why?" – _Luffy_

"Don't know, you're acting as if you knew him, like, in real life." – _Shachi and Penguin_

"Oh really? Wouldn't surprise me though, once I've been talking to this blond pineapple head at some friend's parties and at the same time Ace was always talking to me about a Marco-guy, he even showed me some pics, but I never realized the Pineapple Head and Marco were the same person until Ace came by and finally introduced him to me!" – _Luffy_

"... We honestly have no idea how to react to this right now." – _Shachi and Penguin_

* * *

"Blblblblbl" – _Luffy_

[…]

"What's that?" – _Torao_

"I'm bored" – _Luffy_

"As usual." – _Torao_

"Is that your new way of saying 'hello' now?" – _Torao_

"Well you did say something about how I keep saying 'hello' and 'goodbye' all the time!" – _Luffy_

"Right." – _Torao_

* * *

"OH MY GOD" – _Usopp_

"OH FUCK" – _Usopp_

"OH NO THAT'S IT" – _Usopp_

"THIS IS THE END" – _Usopp_

"What? What's going on? Is everything alright?" – _Chopper_

"I'M HURT" – _Usopp_

"IT'S BAD" – _Usopp_

"IT'S VERY BAD" – _Usopp_

"IT'S VERY VERY VERY BAD" – _Usopp_

"I'M GONNA DIE" – _Usopp_

"I CAN SEE _BLOOD_ ALREADY" – _Usopp_

"OH MY GOD WHAT'S HAPPENING? TELL ME USOPP" – _Chopper_

"LIFE IS LEAVING ME" – _Usopp_

"TELL MY FRIENDS I LOVED THEM" – _Usopp_

"I'M DYING" – _Usopp_

[Missed call]

"I WANT TO GIVE EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR TO YOU MY FRIEND" – _Usopp_

" _PLEASE_ TAKE CARE OF MY BELONGINGS" – _Usopp_

" _STOP A MOMENT AND TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG PLEASE_ " – _Chopper_

"I CAN FEEL LIFE LEAVING MY BODY FOR GOOD NOW" – _Usopp_

"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD" – _Usopp_

"FAREWELL _" – Usopp_

"WHY CAN'T YOU ANSWER THE PHONE" – _Chopper_

"IS IT REALLY THAT BAD DON'T DIE ON MY WATCH" – _Chopper_

[Missed call]

[Missed call]

"Usopp please tell me you're okay" – _Chopper_

"You're scaring the shit out of me answer" – _Chopper_

"USOPP PLEASE ANSWER" – _Chopper_

"Oh sorry, I was trying to fix what I broke" – _Usopp_

"WHAT, BROKE? LIKE A BONE?" _– Chopper_

"No, my new invention! I just walked on it and my foot hurts like hell damn!" – _Usopp_

"... Are you really serious?" – _Chopper_

"Well I was lazy to put on the light and had forgotten about it so didn't see in the dark and blam" – _Usopp_

"Oh thank God I'm glad you're okay!" – _Chopper_

"Hey I'm not! I just broke everything I have to start ALL OVER again! My life's greatest achievement! And it really _does_ hurt man!" – _Usopp_

"Don't ever do that to me again though. I thought you were _dying for good_!" – _Chopper_

* * *

"So how did it go?" – _Franky_

"What are you talking about?" – _Sanji_

"Your date! C'mon dude, we're between guys, don't be shy about it!" – _Franky_

"What the fuck?" – _Sanji_

"Would have known if I had been on a date lately" – _Sanji_

"With a green–haired swordsman?" – _Franky_

[…]

"Sorry I almost died of disgust when I read your message" – _Sanji_

"So how did it go? What did you finally do?" – _Franky_

"I bet you guys were all jerks at first but then finally made out" – _Franky_

"Because you did make out right? I mean we've all been waiting for you to do this for so long now." – _Franky_

"Not that we'd want that because he'd totally be awesome – which would be don't get me wrong – but to be honest we figured out maybe you would stop being that unbearable for once" – _Franky_

"Damn I wish I could have come to see you guys but I had this thing at the factory to finish in time" – _Franky_

"All of this because Paulie took his day off without telling me or Iceberg!" – _Franky_

"I still can't believe it." – _Franky_

"My boss can really be a pain in the ass sometimes" – _Franky_

"Well enough about my stuff tell me more about last time." – _Franky_

[…]

"Sanji?" – _Franky_

[…]

"What really?" – _Franky_

[...]

"Don't be such a drama dude!" – _Franky_

"I thought we were friends!" – _Franky_

* * *

"I learnt there was a movie last day to go to! I'm so sorry I didn't know!" – _Chopper_

"What?" – _Zoro_

"I was so busy with the work and all!" – _Chopper_

"I didn't mean to let you down!" – _Chopper_

[…]

"You didn't let anyone down, don't worry." – _Zoro_

"You're not mad at me?" – _Chopper_

"You just told me you didn't even know!" – _Zoro_

"Next time I'll be there!" – _Chopper_

"I promise!" – _Chopper_

"I told you not to worry we weren't even really hanging out." – _Zoro_

"You weren't?" – _Chopper_

"Yeah no one really came so" – _Zoro_

"'Really came'? You were alone?!" – _Chopper_

"Yeah there was only the curly-brow" – _Zoro_

"Oh" – _Chopper_

" _Oh!_ " – _Chopper_

"What 'oh'?" – _Zoro_

"Nothing I hope you enjoyed!" - _Chopper_

"I gotta go back to work!" – _Chopper_

"Bye!" – _Chopper_

"Don't 'oh' me what do you mean?!" – _Zoro_

"Chopper!" – _Zoro_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"No." – _Zoro_

"What?" – Luffy

"We are not adopting this cat." – Zoro

"Who says he needs adoption?" – Luffy

"Its eyes. And you." – Zoro

"His name is Meatloaf" – Luffy

"Don't lecture me about his name, you'd have called him Katana and thats no better!" – Luffy

"You can't be serious." – Zoro

"And he really loves my food!" – Luffy

"We're not keeping it." – Zoro

"We are!" – Luffy

"Luffy..." – Zoro

"If we do, I'll be quiet about last time, I promise." – Luffy

"Last time?" – Zoro

"Sleep over, remember? You took a pic of Sanji." – Luffy

"nO I DIDN'T" – Zoro

"[Picture MMS]" – Luffy

"... Okay. Alright. But it's not going near my stuff." – Zoro

"Meatloaf may have already met your stuff..." – Luffy

"Oh, COME ON." – Zoro

* * *

"Hey Luffy! You know what's incredible with Voldemort? That's what he _nose_ " – _Usopp_

"Ahah! Great! Coming from you it's even funnier Usopp!" – _Luffy_

"..." – _Usopp_

"I'm not talking to you again." – _Usopp_

"Ever." – _Usopp_

"C'mon Usopp it was your joke!" – _Luffy_

"No?" – _Luffy_

"Wasn't it supposed to be a joke in the first place?" – _Luffy_

"Wasn't it?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"... Usopp?" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Hdiwjw9n8dbs. Djsjaibsu disbs eid d" – _Torao_

"Is that a kind of code for decryption?" – _Luffy_

"Jdbwiwbwi dieb ifbeo djsjwbe vs eiss wis" – _Torao_

"Omg, that's so cool Torao! I have no idea what you are talking about though" – _Luffy_

[…]

"So I have replaced numbers by letters and letters by numbers" – _Luffy_

"But that doesn't make any sense." – _Luffy_

"I wanted to ask Robin I'm pretty sure she would know how to read this but she's busy..." – _Luffy_

"And Usopp's not talking to me anymore..." – _Luffy_

"I'm trying Google translation in case it's a language I don't know but it didn't give anything!" – _Luffy_

"Sanji says it's not French." – _Luffy_

[…]

"... And you didn't ever think that maybe it was a mistake?" – _Torao_

"What is?" – _Luffy_

"My late messages." – _Torao_

"They were?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah. Phone typed it by itself in my pocket while at work." – _Torao_

"Oh" – _Luffy_

"What?" – _Torao_

"I'm disappointed" – _Luffy_

"Disappointed I didn't text you by myself?" – _Torao_

"Nah, not to have any code for decryption. I was so excited to look for the signification!" – _Luffy_

"Right, of course." – _Torao_

[…]

"Hey" – _Luffy_

"Torao" – _Luffy_

"Yeah?" – _Torao_

"Wanna guess my language code?" – _Luffy_

"No." – _Torao_

[…]

"Plus, that would probably only be limited by the 'meat' vocabulary." – _Torao_

* * *

"Tonight, your place or my place?" – Zoro

"Mine. I made pastas. I'm not using your shitty kitchen again, last time was a nightmare." – Sanji

"We both know you didn't come for the kitchen." – Zoro

"Shut up, marimo." – Sanji

* * *

Eheh, so what d'ya think? *innocent smile* Also yes, I'm very proud of my puns and jokes, thank you for asking.  
If you liked the story, please take a few seconds to leave a comment, put a kudo or a bookmark!

Now I wish you merry christmas and happy new year as I don't think I'll be able to write chapter 4 before 2017 - and won't have internet next week anyway.

Have a good day/night!

PS1: If you maybe wish to read something about some characters don't hesitate and tell me! I'll see what I can do about that.  
PS2: As you may have seen I don't have any Beta, and I'm not an English native. If anyone is interested, well I could use some help!

PS3: I'm **'Omelettedufromage-24601' ** on Tumblr, writing now prompts on asks, and **'Yumenofude' ** for fanarts if you happened to be interested!


	4. Chapter 4

So as you might have undestood, on last chapter, ZoSan happened. Also, Luffy adopted a cat which he called Meatloaf.  
Good news: this chapter is going to be more LawLu, and a lot more focused on Law! I had too many informations so I just cut it and so the suggestion I had for Ace and Marco's apparition will certainly be for chapter 5!

I'm sorry it took me so long to write this chapter. But, honestly, I wrote like 15 lines in 2 months, and then wrote everything in two days. Inspiration really can be a bitch. (And I was a bit busy with uni and drawing fanarts hrm).

I thank **Saluzozette** for reading a bit after me and encouraging me, **Miss-LittleGiant** for Meatloaf's incredible name and **PetiteNeko** for a sentence I put in this chapter, and all of you for your wonderful comments, kudos and bookmarks! I also had great reviews on Tumblr, so thank you guys, very much. I'm actually surprised you like it so much...! Makes me really happy :D

Now, enjoy~

* * *

 **CHAPTER IV**

* * *

"Luffy." – _Zoro_

"Your cat tried to eat my computer cable, _again_." – _Zoro_

"It's so big how can it even want to eat something more?!" – _Zoro_

"Do you even give food to it for it to behave like that?! Is it naturally big or?" – _Zoro_

"Oh God." – _Zoro_

"It tried to damage my stuff again that motherfucker" – _Zoro_

[…]

"Luffy." – _Zoro_

"It peed on my clothes, _again_." – _Zoro_

"This is the third time this week, and we're only _tuesday_ , Luffy!" – _Zoro_

[…]

"LUFFY."

"IT PREVENTED ME FROM SLEEPING TWICE IN LESS THAN TEN MINUTES." – _Zoro_

"THAT'S IT." – _Zoro_

"I don't want it anymore in this flat." – _Zoro_

"If you don't give it away, I will." – _Zoro_

[…]

"WAIT NO! Don't throw him out! Zoro!" – _Luffy_

"Oh yeah? Why not?" – _Zoro_

"We already had the same story with the old dog, the rats and the parrot, we'll just repeat it again." – _Zoro_

"You actually liked them!" – _Luffy_

"Yeah, well they were still annoying. Bulky." – _Zoro_

"I don't believe you" – _Luffy_

"Thing is, I _don't_ like this cat." – _Zoro_

"Meatloaf is perfectly fine, and you'll get used to each other. You don't throw people out because they annoy you! Just tell him not to do it again and he'll understand." – _Luffy_

"You realize it's not a person, right?" – _Zoro_

"I value Meatloaf as much as anybody else!" – _Luffy_

"Plus, it's not his fault if he started eating your stuff! He's hungry! You'd do the same if you were! And you sleep all the time, of course he'll wake you up at some point!" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Sanji agrees with me and said you were lazier than a cat." – _Luffy_

"Fuck the cook he doesn't know shit about that stuff." – _Zoro_

[...]

"Are you kidding me, this cat isn't well educated that's all. And there's no cat food anywhere? -And what about the pee?" – _Zoro_

"Where's the litter?" – _Zoro_

[…]

"I forgot." – _Luffy_

"..." – _Zoro_

"Okay." – _Zoro_

"I'm throwing it out." – _Zoro_

"DON'T!" – _Luffy_

"If you do I swear I will never talk to you ever again." – _Luffy_

"You're not even able to take care of it, Luffy!" – _Zoro_

"I will! Sanji says he's gonna help. He loves cats." – _Luffy_

"The ero-cook _doesn't_ live with us! He's nothing to do with that!" – _Zoro_

"Give Meatloaf a month. You'll get to like him." – _Luffy_

"It's not only me. It hates me too." – _Zoro_

"Nonsense!" – _Luffy_

[…]

"But if nothing has changed, Meatloaf's out right?" – _Zoro_

"I have your word?" – _Zoro_

[…]

"Yes." – _Luffy_

"Deal." – _Zoro_

"But I'm calling it 'Nuisance' from now on." _– Zoro_

* * *

"You did it _only_ to bother me, didn't you?" – _Zoro_

"Yes." – _Sanji_

"Bastard" – _Zoro_

"Screw you, curly brow." – _Zoro_

"Anytime you want, Moss-for-Brain." – _Sanji_

* * *

"Luffy?" – _Usopp_

"Yeah?" – _Luffy_

"I was wondering..." – _Usopp_

"About that Tra-guy you talked to me about and all" – _Usopp_

"What if he was some kind of a serial killer creep?" – _Usopp_

"A serial killer?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah! Look- how many times did it happen? The nurse was the killer, the detective was guilty of everything... Dexter, The Mentalist- aren't all those shows about it?" – _Usopp_

"You think Torao's a serial killer because he's a doctor?" – _Luffy_

"Basically, it could be a possibility, yes." – _Usopp_

"Okay I'm gonna ask him!" – _Luffy_

"What?! No don't ask you really think he's gonna be honest? AND what if it's true?! He might come for us to keep his secret! For himself! Himself- _alone_!" – _Usopp_

"But everything you said are suppositions right?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah?" – _Usopp_

"Let's just get a confirmation to it already then!" – _Luffy_

"Don't! Luffy! Really-!" – _Usopp_

"Luffy!" – _Usopp_

[...]

"You're really asking him aren't you?" – _Usopp_

"I should have known better" – _Usopp_

[...]

"Next boat to Antarctica doesn't look too expensive." – _Usopp_

* * *

"Have you ever killed someone before?" – _Luffy_

"No" – _Torao_

"Why not?" – _Luffy_

"My job is basically to save lives, Luffy-ya. Why the question?" – _Torao_

"Yeah but that could be your cover! The best murderers are acting from the inside, and no one ever suspects them!" – _Luffy_

"Stop watching TV" – _Torao_

"Or stop believing everything Usopp tells you" – _Torao_

"How did you know it was Usopp?" – _Luffy_

"Because of, hm, the fact that you're always telling me everything your life perhaps?" – _Torao_

"Shishishishishi I keep forgetting." – _Luffy_

[…]

"But tho, have you?" – _Luffy_

"What?" – _Torao_

"Killed someone" – _Luffy_

"For God's sake. No." – _Torao_

"Okay! :D" – _Luffy_

"And you believe me?" – _Torao_

"Of course, why?" – _Luffy_

"I could lie." – _Torao_

"Are you?" – _Luffy_

"Nope." – _Torao_

"Then why trying to confuse me and create problems when everything's ok? ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)૭✧ " – _Luffy_

"You're really-" – _Torao_

"What?" – _Luffy_

"Nothing." – _Torao_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"See? Torao's a nice guy!" – _Luffy_

[…]

"I'm not convinced." – _Usopp_

"If you don't trust him, trust me! (^◡^)/" – _Luffy_

"If you say so..." – _Usopp_

"By the way, Chopper bought a new game and asked us to come over to help him figure out how it works :D" – _Luffy_

"I'M ON MY WAY!" – _Usopp_

* * *

"Haven't you noticed anything?" – _Nami_

"You must add more details to this question, if you want me to answer properly Nami-san" – _Robin_

"I meant, about Zoro and Sanji. Don't you think something changed, between them?" – _Nami_

"Indeed, I noticed that." – _Robin_

"You did?" – _Nami_

"Yes. They probably made out, but are too proud to tell us. So we'll just wait for them to tell us when they will feel ready." – _Robin_

"What?! You knew?" – _Nami_

"This is quite obvious." – _Robin_

"But Sanji didn't say anything when I asked him about that evening!" – _Nami_

"Try not to beat them up, it took them time." – _Robin_

"Exactly! And patience! And those bastards didn't even tell us!" – _Nami_

"You know how they are" – _Robin_

"I will make them regret this." – _Nami_

"May I ask why you are so invested in their relationship, Nami-san?" – _Robin_

"I made a bet with Usopp. He owes me." – _Nami_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Nami_

"I won the bet." – _Nami_

"A-Absolutely not! Those are just hypothesis!" – _Usopp_

"How dare you?" – _Nami_

"I won't believe it until they show or tell me themselves they are in a relationship." – _Usopp_

"You..." – _Nami_

"Alright. You will eventually understand _I_ was right it, and pay me what you owe me!" – _Nami_

"We'll see about that!" – _Usopp_

* * *

"(≧∇≦)/" – _Luffy_

"(つ◉益◉)つ" – _Luffy_

"ᕦ⊙෴⊙ᕤ" – _Luffy_

"ᕙ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ) ᕗ" _– Luffy_

"..." – _Torao_

"You discovered how to create emoticons, didn't you" – _Torao_

"Yeah! ╰(✧∇✧╰) That's super fun!" – _Luffy_

"Am I... the victim on whom you decided to test them all?" – _Torao_

"Maybe ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)" – _Luffy_

"Please stop" – _Torao_

"Why, you don't like it? C'mon Torao! It's way too fun! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧" – _Luffy_

"I'd rather have your babbling about how bored you are than that." _– Torao_

"(ง ʘ ʖ ʘ)ง" – _Luffy_

"If you don't stop I _will_ most definitely block you, Luffy-ya." – _Torao_

"You wouldn't!" – _Luffy_

"I'm very serious" – _Torao_

"Just because of smileys?!" – _Luffy_

"They are annoying." – _Torao_

"You're no fun." – _Luffy_

[…]

"You did say you liked better my messages when I'm bored though!" – _Luffy_

"I... did say that." – _Torao_

"What about you just send me _one_ emoticon too and we're even? I'll stop harassing you with them. I promise." – _Luffy_

"An emoticon?" – _Torao_

"Yeah!" – _Luffy_

"Only one?" – _Torao_

"And you'll stop?" – _Torao_

"Yeah!" – _Luffy_

"But do not choose a common one!" – _Luffy_

"..." – _Torao_

"੧| ‾́ー ‾́ |੭" – _Torao_

"Shishishi you actually did it!" – _Luffy_

"Yeah" – _Torao_

"Shishishi~" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Boss." – _Shachi_

"Boss?" – _Shachi_

* * *

"Law?" – _Bepo_

"Yeah?" – _Law_

"Are you ready to go?" – _Bepo_

"Go?" – _Law_

"Next appointment..." – _Bepo_

"Right." – _Law_

"Why are you texting me? You're like, on the very next room." – _Law_

"You didn't answer when Penguin called you so we sent you texts, as you spent a lot of time on your phone lately" – _Bepo_

"What's so interesting with it by the way? A new technique you've found on the internet, or some surgery book online?" – _Bepo_

"Yeah, kinda." – _Law_

"Kinda?" – _Bepo_

"Don't worry about that. And I'm not deaf, next time just come in." – _Law_

"Come in? Well, Penguin did come in" – _Bepo_

"And?" – _Law_

"You didn't notice his presence." – _Bepo_

"He didn't say anything." – _Law_

"Usually, you do notice people." – _Bepo_

"I was concentrated." – _Law_

"On surgery?" – _Bepo_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Bepo_

"What's that supposed to mean?" – _Law_

"You were so focused you didn't notice him taking a picture of you, and I'm surprised to see such an expression on your face while working on surgery..." – _Bepo_

"Get to the point" – _Law_

"Penguin and Shachi told me you met someone online! Why didn't you say anything?!" – _Bepo_

"Why, is this important?" – _Law_

"It is! I barely see you taking interest in anyone, this is super-rare!" – _Bepo_

"Do we _have_ to talk about it now? I believe we have an appointment in five minutes." – _Law_

"I'm coming." – _Law_

"Nice way of changing subject..." – _Bepo_

"Oh shit we're really late!" - _Bepo_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"Is that a cat?" – _Torao_

"Yeah, he's mine! His name is Meatloaf!" – _Luffy_

"Let me guess; you chose the name" – _Torao_

"Yeah! You know me so well Torao!" – _Luffy_

"How old is he? He looks bad" – _Torao_

"No idea, I found him on the street on my way home. He was dirty and hungry and he followed me so I just took him." – _Luffy_

[…]

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"Is he... sitting on your roommate's face?" – _Torao_

"For some reason, he likes to do that. Maybe it's because of Zoro's hair colour? I have no idea why he acts like that but he likes Zoro's face." – _Luffy_

"... Is that a normal thing according to you?" – _Torao_

"I don't know? Everyone's different? Sanji took pictures last time. It was hilarious! This cat really is awesome!" – _Luffy_

"Though I named him Meatloaf, Zoro's calling him Nuisance..." – _Luffy_

"Sure, especially if the cat's trying to choke him during his sleep using his weight, wonder why." – _Torao_

"I'm pretty sure they'll eventually get along." – _Luffy_

"People say it's good to have hopes." – _Torao_

"But in spite of your unbreakable faith I am doubtful." – _Torao_

"You'll see I'm right!" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Shit" – _Luffy_

"He's meowing for food I forgot to buy him some" – _Luffy_

"What are cats allowed to eat?" – _Luffy_

[...]

"I'm a doctor, Luffy-ya, not a veterinarian." – _Torao_

"I'll just give him what I have." – _Luffy_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

[…]

"You didn't _actually_ give that to him, did you?" – _Torao_

"That's all I have!" – _Luffy_

"Luffy-ya, please don't feed Meatloaf the purple carrot" – _Torao_

"How on Earth do you manage to have vegetables with this colour?" – _Torao_

"I don't know" – _Luffy_

"I just don't really pay attention to them in the fridge so I guess I forget about them." – _Luffy_

"And since Zoro often goes out lately" – _Luffy_

[…]

"I think Meatloaf actually likes it." – _Luffy_

[…]

"I told you not to give it to him" – _Torao_

"I do what I want!" – _Luffy_

[…]

"You can be so childish sometimes" – _Torao_

"If you want to poison him that's the good way to go" – _Torao_

"He's fine!" – _Luffy_

"Of course he is" – _Torao_

"I'm off to sleep, good night!" – _Luffy_

"Try to sleep too!" – _Luffy_

[…]

"Good night" – _Torao_

* * *

"So, how's it going with your new friend?" – _Bepo_

"Still vexed I didn't tell you about it?" – _Law_

"And he's not my friend" – _Law_

"You told Shachi and Penguin!" – _Bepo_

"I didn't. They stole my phone." – _Law_

"I should have done that too..." – _Bepo_

"There's a password now." – _Law_

"And you don't trust us anymore! I'm hurt" – _Bepo_

"You just said you wished you'd stolen my phone" – _Law_

[…]

"Ok, but what are _you_ talking about?" – _Bepo_

"Nothing." – _Law_

"Nothing? How can you exchange so much without saying nothing?" – _Bepo_

"We don't communicate that much." – _Law_

"Are you kidding me? Answering other people than your colleagues is a big deal for you." – _Bepo_

"If you say so" – _Law_

"Yeah!" – _Bepo_

[…]

"But really, what are you talking about? I'm curious now" – _Bepo_

[…]

"Law?" – _Bepo_

[…]

"He sends me emoticons, and talks about food." – _Law_

"Really? What kind of emoticons? Don't you hate those, tho?" – _Bepo_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Law_

"Omg this one (ง ʘ ʖ ʘ)ง looks just like you when you're about to start a surgery! Look, I can almost see the dark circles under its eyes." – _Bepo_

[…]

"I was kidding, Law!" – _Bepo_

"Are you really going to ignore me now?" – _Bepo_

[…]

"Are you sure that's one of your conversations though?" – _Bepo_

"I mean... ' _I'd rather have your babbling about how bored you are than that.'_ that's not like you" – _Bepo_

"Is it?" – _Bepo_

"Damnit" – _Bepo_

[…]

"Don't tell me you don't at least appreciate him!" – _Bepo_

[…]

"You know you can't block me right? We need to contact each other anytime because of our job!" – _Bepo_

[…]

"I thought we were best friends..." – _Bepo_

"Or at least friends!" – _Bepo_

":'(" – _Bepo_

"If I reply you'll stop harassing me?" – _Law_

"Law! You're not mad at me?" – _Bepo_

"I'm not. But just stop talking about him" – _Law_

"Understood." – _Bepo_

[…]

"Still, you like him don't you?" – _Bepo_

"Bepo" – _Law_

"Yeah right sorry!" – _Bepo_

* * *

[Group conversation]:

"You were right, I can't believe it." – _Bepo_

"Told you so!" – _Shachi_

"Yeah" – _Penguin_

"I've never seen him like that!" – _Bepo_

"I can't believe it." – _Bepo_

"You already said that." – _Penguin_

"I can't believe it." – _Bepo_

"Again." – _Penguin_

"No but" – _Bepo_

"I think he can't believe it." – _Shachi_

"Oh my god you two" – _Penguin_

[...]

"What if he's been replaced by someone else, looking just like our boss?" – _Bepo_

"Would have noticed it, wouldn't we?" – _Penguin_

"Yeah I'm noticing it now!" – _Bepo_

[...]

"Do you think they met?" – _Shachi_

"..." – _Penguin_

"..." – _Bepo_

[…]

"We can't ask him can we" – _Shachi_

"Definitely not" – _Bepo_

"But we have _his_ number" – _Penguin_

"We do?" – _Bepo_

"We do." – _Shachi_

* * *

Once again, if you liked it - or not - please leave me a comment so I can change stuff and improve myself! Also, if you have ideas, themes or characters you want to read, let me know. I will read every suggestion, and consider them.

PS: I know I didn't include Brook yet, but he'll eventually appear.


	5. Chapter 5

*SCREAM OF VICTORY*  
I. DID. IT! I posted this chapter. I wrote it. WooOow. THAT WAS SO HARD. It took me 6 months but I swear I tried. I worked on it, but that wasn't just this fic, I was - and I'm still having - the Author's White Page Curse. I talked to friends about this chapter, a lot, just to encourage myself, I looked at your comments, I listened to songs...  
I'm rambling, but DAMNIT. I'm so proud and happy to post it.  
Now, I really hope you'll like it, but I can't promise you will. You decide.  
Thank you all for your comments on ff, your support on Tumblr, and especially to **Lululawlawlu** who's always telling how much they like what I write (let's be honest I drew a lot for 6 months instead of writing and really thought I would never go back to writing and wasn't really happy about that).

Okay I'm gonna stop now. I'm just so excited. Enjoy!  
PS: I was not patient enough to wait for my beta to correct it, apologies for the mistakes.

* * *

 **FAMILY REUNION**

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"Meatloaf's such a lazy cat" – _Luffy_

"I'm bored and he doesn't want to play!" – _Luffy_

"Honestly when are you NOT bored?" – _Torao_

"Sometimes I'm not. When I talk to you for example!" – _Luffy_

[…]

"Hey I just realized!" – _Luffy_

"I never asked you if you had a pet!" – _Luffy_

"I don't recall you asking yea" – _Torao_

"And?" – _Luffy_

[...]

"I... don't have a common pet." – _Torao_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Torao_

"OMG SO COOL" – _Luffy_

"WHAT'S THIS?" – _Luffy_

"Iguana." – _Torao_

"That's its name?" – _Luffy_

"... No. The name of the species." – _Torao_

"What's the name then?" – _Luffy_

"I didn't give it a name." – _Torao_

"W h y" – _Luffy_

"щ(ºДºщ)" – _Luffy_

"... Because I didn't" – _Torao_

"No, you must." – _Luffy_

"Does it breATHE FIRE?" – _Luffy_

"CAN IT FLY?" – _Luffy_

"It looks like a DRAGON" – _Luffy_

"No. It can't. It's a freaking Iguana." – _Torao_

"Call it Komodo" – _Luffy_

"I was expecting anything related to food I'm kinda surprised." – _Torao_

"Komodo dragons aren't iguanas Luffy-ya." – _Torao_

"Well you must give it a name!" – _Luffy_

"Why is it so important?" – _Torao_

"Because it's your daily friend!" – _Luffy_

"Call it Lizard." – _Luffy_

"That's just a widder name of species." – _Torao_

"Saying no to Reptile right now." – _Torao_

"Okay fine!" – _Luffy_

"Just find a name yourself then!" – _Luffy_

"You're not gonna let it go are you" – _Torao_

"Nope." – _Luffy_

"I'll think about it." – _Torao_

* * *

"°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°" – _Ace_

"(✧ ▽✧ )" – _Luffy_

"໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७" – _Ace_

"ー( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ" – _Luffy_

"(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง" - _Ace_

"(ง •̀ゝ•́)ง" - _Luffy_

"ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ So how're your life and job?" – _Ace_

"I've only broken 6 dishes this week. Zoro says it's progress d=(´▽｀)=b" – _Luffy_

"I'm still wondering how they didn't fire you already, to be honest." – _Ace_

"I know right! ( ᐛ )و" – _Luffy_

"By the way, we're wandering in your country right now with Marco, are you free tonight? (^-^) Sabo told me he was ready to come too!" – _Ace_

"REALLY? (ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶ Yeah, awesome! Come whenever you want!" – _Luffy_

"Marco absolutely wants to add one condition though 〜(￣▽￣〜)" – _Ace_

"Which is?" – _Luffy_

"You're not doing dinner." – _Ace_

"Shishishi don't worry, I won't!" – _Luffy_

"Great. See you tonight then! Ｏ(≧ᗨ≦)Ｏ" – _Ace_

"o(≧∇≦o) Yeah!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Do you have any siblings?" – _Luffy_

"Why suddenly interested in my private life?" – _Torao_

"What are you saying, Torao? I've always been interested in you!" – _Luffy_

"Indeed. And you always were very discreet." – _Torao_

"You're avoiding the question, Torao!" – _Luffy_

"Maybe" – _Torao_

"Maybe?" – _Luffy_

[…]

* * *

"Why the sad face?" – _Bepo_

"I don't have a sad face." – _Law_

"You're not smiling either." – _Bepo_

"Are you going to assume that I'm sad each time I don't smile?" – _Law_

"No, 'cause then you'd be sad constantly." – _Bepo_

"KIDDING PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN!" – _Bepo_

"If you have something to tell me you can also open the door and say it instead of spying on me behind the windows." – _Law_

"I was just looking at you, not spying" – _Bepo_

"What's with the aggrissivity anyway? Something bad with Luffy?" – _Bepo_

"No. Why would it have anything to do with him? My life isn't reduced around that guy." – _Law_

"Here it goes again..." – _Bepo_

[…]

"Are you okay?" – _Bepo_

* * *

"Heya Luffy! How're you and Iron-Cat doing? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧" – _Franky_

"His name's Meatloaf, Franky, but we're fine!" – _Luffy_

"I do believe a name is a word suiting the one wearing it. What if Cat2D2 doesn't like it? Oh wait no, Cat3PO! God, my names are pretty nice. And he always seems to enjoy them." – _Franky_

"Of course, 'coz they're all robots related names! Who wouldn't like them?" – _Luffy_

"So you do admit Baby-Voltron is better?" – _Franky_

"Baby-Voltron?" – _Luffy_

"Voltron is a tiger. Cats are baby tigers! Ingenious, right?" – _Franky_

[...]

"No." – _Luffy_

"Once again, you're a terrible liar. I know your eyes are amazed." – _Franky_

"Whatever, the name's Meatloaf!" – _Luffy_

"Astro-Cat." – _Franky_

[...]

"RobotCat" – _Franky_

"Kitty-Bender" – _Franky_

[...]

"Ultron-Cat?" – _Franky_

[...]

"I take that as a confirmation for the fabulous names I made up." – _Franky_

"Meatloaf!" – _Luffy_

"Catimus Prime" – _Franky_

* * *

"Torao?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"Did I say something wrong?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"I had a surgery to take care of" – _Torao_

"You really not are patient, are you?" – _Torao_

"Shishishi, I guess so" – _Luffy_

"So 'bout your family? o(^▽^)o" – _Luffy_

"I had a sister" – _Torao_

"Had?" – _Luffy_

[...]

"She passed away a few years ago." – _Torao_

"How was she?" – _Luffy_

"As stubborn and noisy as you" – _Torao_

"How can you tell I'm noisy?" – _Luffy_

"Oh, I just can." – _Torao_

"You're really incredible, Torao ˉ(´ᗨ`)ˉ " – _Luffy_

* * *

"Hey Luffy (ง •ૅ౪•᷄)ว, Sabo here! Ready for tonight?" – _Sabo_

"Yeah! When will you guys be here?" – _Luffy_

"I'm already in town, but I think I lost Koala (''￣▽￣) Could we meet somewhere?" – _Sabo_

"Of course! Remember where Nami stole your wallet, the place near the huge fountain?" – _Luffy_

"Damn right I remember the ice-cream seller thought I was stealing from him!" – _Sabo_

"Shishishi, she already apologized she didn't know you were my brother! Anyway, let's go there? And tell Koala!" – _Luffy_

"Will do! (ノ^∇^)" – _Sabo_

* * *

"I know! FireFly!" – _Luffy_

"I told you. Doesn't fly. Doesn't fire." – _Torao_

"Urg you're so not fun" _– Luffy_

* * *

"Yoi, Luffy! Did Ace tell you?" – _Pineapple-Head_

"What about?" – _Luffy_

"Coming tonight, yoi" – _Pineapple-Head_

"Yeah he did! Great to see you guys again, been a while!" – _Luffy_

"Sure! But- did he say something specifically, yoi? – _Pineapple-Head_

"About dinner?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah, about that-yoi" – _Pineapple-Head_

"Not against you, but last time everyone almost died so..." – _Pineapple-Head_

"I was just feeling like if we could avoid it that'd be nice, yoi." – _Pineapple-Head_

"No prob I understand! But I don't remember there was nothing particular last time, was it?" – _Luffy_

[...]

"That's exactly what's worrying me, see" – _Pineapple-Head_

"That that was something normal for you Ace and Sabo, yoi" – _Pineapple-Head_

"Shishi I guess" – _Luffy_

"But y'know btw, I think it's funny but you don't always have to say 'yoi' when texting!" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Yoi" – _Pineapple-Head_

"YOI" – _Pineapple-Head_

"YOI" – _Pineapple-Head_

"YOI" – _Pineapple-Head_

"YOIIIII YOI YO Yoiiiii yoi yOI~" – _Pineapple-Head_

[…]

"? Okay （・∀・）"– _Luffy_

"Sorry Luffy, that was Ace. Stole my phofkohdldffdsklj" – _Pineapple-Head_

[...]

"To make fun of me" – _Pineapple-Head_

"Shishi that's alright, I figured!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"That was fun." – _Ace_

"Well done (ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ)" – _Luffy_

"(ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ)" – _Ace_

* * *

"Meet me at the fountain in 20 minutes? Luffy's waiting for us there" – _Sabo_

"I'm on my way! But that's really close, could be there in less than 20 minutes?" – _Koala_

[...]

"Don't tell me you're in a food store again" – _Koala_

"Might be?" – _Sabo_

"You are a lost cause" – _Koala_

"We're supposed to have a meeting in a few minutes to have _dinner_ with your brothers! Who'd eat before a dinner?" – _Koala_

"They had free sashimis!" – _Sabo_

"Why do I even bother asking" – _Koala_

* * *

"Do you?" – _Torao_

"Do I?" – _Luffy_

"Have siblings" – _Torao_

"Two older brothers! They're coming tonight at my place!" – _Luffy_

"They live far away?" – _Torao_

"Kinda, Sabo's working on missions and stuff like that with Koala very often and Ace moves out every two years with Pineapple-guy, they can't stand remaining at the same place for too long." – _Luffy_

[...]

"... Koala and Pineapple-guy?" – _Torao_

"Koala's Sabo's girlfriend and I keep forgetting Ace's boyfriend's name but his head does look like that fruit" – _Luffy_

[...]

"I know I should be used to this by now but somehow I'm not" – _Torao_

"Shishishi that's good~ Life without surprises is boring!" – _Luffy_

"If you say so" – _Torao_

* * *

"Do you like cats?" _– Zoro_

"Of course I like cats, why wouldn't I?" – _Sanji_

"Yeah of course you like cats. Remember, you told Luffy you'd 'help' with Nuisance or something just to bother me." – _Zoro_

"Not everything's about you, shitty marimo." – _Sanji_

"Anyways. I'll drop by tonight, no need to buy stuff I'll give you everything" – _Zoro_

"... I'm not taking Luffy's cat." – _Sanji_

"He won't notice, his brothers are coming tonight!" – _Zoro_

"That's worse he'll notice even more since he'll want to introduce him to them!" – _Sanji_

"Please just take it" – _Zoro_

"That's kidnapping, I'm not doing this" – _Sanji_

"Technically that's catnapping" – _Zoro_

"That's a no" – _Sanji_

"C'mon curly-brow. I never ask you anything." – _Zoro_

"That's not what I recall from yesterday evening..." – _Sanji_

"You practically begged, if I recall well" – _Sanji_

"What a delightful memory" – _Sanji_

[…]

"I can bet anything you want you're blushing and deleting those messages." – _Sanji_

"That cat is getting fatter and fatter, always in my way and ripping my stuff apart but I'm pretty sure you could get along. After all Nuisance's also your middle name." – _Zoro_

"Don't worry I'll remind it to you as much as I can to cure this sudden Alzheimer (• ‾⌣ ‾•)و *heart*" – _Sanji_

"Fuck you" – _Zoro_

"You wish" – _Sanji_

"Die" – _Zoro_

"┌∩┐(ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐" – _Zoro_

"*heart*" – _Sanji_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"We're having the best dinner ever!" – _Luffy_

"I'm pretty sure you never tasted food as good as Sanji's!" – _Luffy_

"Hey, maybe you should come one day to give it a try!" – _Luffy_

[…]

* * *

"Okay now there's something wrong." – _Bepo_

"Would you please stop sending texts once for all when I'm in the same room." – _Law_

"You literally threatened to stab me last time, I want to keep my distances!" – _Bepo_

[…]

"If you ever need to talk just remember I've always been here and will always be." – _Bepo_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"Pineapple-guy's complaining about us not sharing food. I thought he knew us better than that. Food's something you gotta earn!（￣ー￣）" – _Luffy_

[…]

* * *

"Thanks again for yesterday, Luffy! Amazing time. Let's meet again soon!" – _Sabo_

"Yeah! Can't wait for next time -(๑✧ ‿ ✧#)ᕗ!" – _Luffy_

"-(๑✧ ▽ ✧#)ᕗ" - _Sabo_

* * *

"Amazing evening. Seeing Marco pouting was priceless. Must do it again!" – _Ace_

"Of course! °˖✧◝(^▿^)◜✧˖°" – _Luffy_

"I can't believe you called him Pineapple-Head all night though." – _Ace_

"Can't remember his name, not my fault 」(￣▽￣」)" – _Luffy_

"It's been _years_ Luffy" – _Ace_

"Well yeah he should be used to it!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Stop talking behind my back to your brother, yoi" – _Marco_

"Me? Never. How can you believe such a thing?" – _Ace_

"I have eyes. I know you, yoi. I know that smile." – _Marco_

[…]

"Portgas D. Ace, suppress this smirk from your face at once." – _Marco_

[…]

"(≖ᴗ≖๑)" – _Ace_

"I'm divorcing our relationship." – _Marco_

"We're not married (≖ᴗ≖๑)" – _Ace_

"I'm unrelationshipping us." – _Marco_

"As if you could." – _Little Fucker_

"Pineapple." – _Little Fucker_

"Pine **yoi** pple." – _Little Fucker Until The End_

"And deleting your number." – _Pineyoipple_

* * *

"Meatloaf looks sick, Zoro swears he didn't do anything. I'm not sure I trust him on this, I caught him on the phone yesterday yelling at Sanji for being a cat kidnapper coward. Sounded suspicious!" – _Luffy_

[...]

"I've been thinking maybe we feed him too much, he looks fatter than before." – _Luffy_

[…]

"Are you busy again?" – _Luffy_

"Working on Sundays shouldn't be allowed." – _Luffy_

"I have to work again at the Baratie for the whole evening!" – _Luffy_

"Sounds unfair." – _Luffy_

"Just because I forgot to tell them I was taking a break yesterday." – _Luffy_

"Maybe that wasn't the first time BUT STILL!" – _Luffy_

"I can't leave Meatloaf like that." – _Luffy_

* * *

"Where are you?" – _Luffy_

"Out. Why?" – _Zoro_

"I'm out of money, can you lend me some?" – _Luffy_

"You're asking _me_?" – _Zoro_

"Uh, right, should've known better." – _Luffy_

"Now that hurts. I still can manage!" – _Zoro_

"Don't ask Nami she's gonna ruin you" – _Zoro_

"I know what I'm saying don't ask her" – _Zoro_

* * *

"Nami, I need you to give me some money!" – _Luffy_

[…]

"I stared at this message for a few minutes and I still can't believe it exists." – _Nami_

"That's about Meatloaf. He's sick. I need to take him to the vet!" – _Luffy_

"Meatloaf-Mop-Cat? You mean your cat?" – _Nami_

"Yeah!" – _Luffy_

"Well not really surprised I actually wonder how didn't he get sick before." – _Nami_

"Hey! That's mean!" – _Luffy_

"Alright I'm coming. We'll see there." – _Nami_

"Thank you!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"She agreed!" – _Luffy_

"Don't trust her she's a witch." – _Zoro_

* * *

"By the way dear, you still owe me those 3,000 berries remember?" – _Nami_

[…]

"Don't ignore me I know you read this message your phone betrayed me." – _Nami_

"[Picture MMS – screenshot]" – _Nami_

"Fuck it." - _Zoro_

"What was it even for?!" – _Zoro_

"Each time I had to help you financially when you ended up out of town without anything to pay for the transports throughout the year." – _Nami_

* * *

"Time to tell the truth, Luffy! Have you and Law met yet?" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"Huh? Nah, why?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"..." – _Shachi and Penguin_

"H O W" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"How wat" – _Luffy_

"How did you keep up this relationship with him?" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"I mean it tooks us years to get his number? And we literally saw him _everyday_? And you just randomly got it?" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"Is that so incredible? .-." – _Luffy_

"YEAH." – _Shachi and Penguin_

"If you say so" – _Luffy_

* * *

"THEY DIDN'T FUCKING MEET" – _Shachi_

"Speechless." – _Penguin_

"That was to expect" – _Bepo_

"What?" – _Shachi_

"Well, didn't you notice? When you think you finally know Law, he's always proving you wrong right at that moment." – _Bepo_

"True..." – _Shachi_

"Damnit." – _Penguin_

"So they're what? Internet friends?" – _Penguin_

"Not even. They didn't meet on a network." – _Bepo_

"Amazing. I'm gonna type a few wrong numbers be back in a while." – _Shachi_

"Uh" – _Penguin_

"That's not obviously gonna work you know?" – _Bepo_

"It worked with Trafalgar Freaking Law though?" – _Penguin_

"Yeah well you don't know who's the guy he's talking to either" – _Bepo_

"Still doing it!" – _Shachi_

"Well that's gonna be fun I'm coming" – _Penguin_

"..." – _Bepo_

"Okay wait for me!" – _Bepo_

* * *

Hi again! This is me. The author. Dang, still here.  
If you liked the story, leave a comment! A fav! Go talk to me! I'd love that! Suggest what you want! Tell me what was wrong and you didn't like! Tell me what you loved! Tell me what disturbed you so I explain why I did this or that to you! Anything to make this story something you'd love to read again.  
I'm **Plume8now** on Tumblr (or Omelettedufromage-24601) and my artblog is **Yumenofude** :D

PS: the smileys take so much time to find sometimes i regret my life choices


	6. Chapter 6

**:Narrator's mysterious voice: Previously, in Wrong Number.**

\- Luffy wants to give Law's pet (an Iguana) a name  
\- Franky is a robot nerd and loves cats  
\- The ASL brothers met in Luffy's town and Luffy proudly introduced Meatloaf to them, and sent a picture of the dinner with his brothers to Law.  
\- Luffy asked Law about his family  
\- Zoro and Sanji are stupid (and Zoro hates Meatloaf)  
\- Ace and Luffy are horrible to Marco  
\- Bepo is getting worried about Law  
\- Meatloaf's 'sick' and went to the vet  
\- Shachi sent messages to wrong numbers on purpose to get a "network friend" (or whatever you could call it).

 **This chapter:**  
\- Zoro and Sanji are getting more and more stupid  
\- Team pineapple pizza  
\- A lot of useless emojis  
\- BROOK IS FINALLY HERE!  
\- More teasing/bullying  
\- Things are getting a bit more serious

Well well I'm back!  
I don't think it's useful to apologize for how late I am, because everyone knows it's what writers face all the time. The Writer Block. Little time. Another hobby. Losing what you wrote in January cause your computer died (this one is oddly specific I know). Things like that.  
This fic is getting harder and harder to write, but I'm still enjoying it and I love to read again and again your comments, so the pain is worth it.

 **IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT THIS CHAPTER:**  
\- Luffy always looked younger than his age (at least to me) especially when he's next to people like his brothers who are very tall. The age gap isn't that big (but Law and Luffy are both full 18+ adults).  
\- Don't judge someone too quickly and think twice about their or your reaction (or lack of).

Thanking everyone who helped me writing this, ESPECIALLY the LawLu (and Klance) chat discords with their sprints, thanking also that person I've never talked to who's friends with Bara and translated some Japanese, and Moony/Syrup for making me write about pineapple pizza.  
(Also, the Law to my Luffy aka Blue aka my beta didn't correct me yet and I'm a bad writer I can't wait for the end of the week so you're getting the first edition sorry).  
Enjoy!

* * *

"Meatloaf... pooped babies. ( _ )" – _Luffy_

"... _Pooped?_ " – _Nami_

"YEAH HE GOT BABIES." – _Luffy_

"For god's sake Luffy THAT CAT WAS PREGNANT." – _Nami_

"? Males can get pregnant? (⊙ヮ⊙)" – _Luffy_

"Are you doing this on purpose or" – _Nami_

"He's a she obviously what made you think she was a he anyway?" – _Nami_

"A feeling!" – _Luffy_

"(ಠ⌣ಠ)" – _Nami_

"You are so, so bad at this." – _Nami_

"Still Meatloaf." – _Luffy_

"I guess this is Mrs. Mop now." – _Nami_

" ૮(ꂧꁞꂧ)ა" – _Luffy_

"What are you gonna do with the kitties?" – _Nami_

"Keep 'em!" – _Luffy_

"Of course. They're gonna die – you can't." – _Nami_

"What? obviously I can" – _Luffy_

"No you can't, Luffy." – _Nami_

"I'll show you I can" – _Luffy_

"Luffy those are LIVES" – _Nami_

"I'll protect them with my life. They're my nakama." – _Luffy_

"I'm not asking you to give up on them. I'm asking you to take care of them." – _Nami_

"That's what I'm gonna do!" – _Luffy_

"Not really, remember who's living with you?" – _Nami_

"Zoro? ఠ ͟ಠ" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Shit." – _Luffy_

"Take care of them Nami!" – _Luffy_

"Oh no you're not doing this no way" – _Nami_

"You'll love them!" – _Luffy_

"How many are there?" – _Nami_

"... maybe nine?" – _Luffy_

"I'm not getting nine kitties! Do you want to ruin me?! I can _try_ to keep one for some time. ONLY one." – _Nami_

"(ᗒᗨᗕ)!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Oi ero-cook, you forgot your tie at my place" – _Zoro_

"New phone who dis" – _Sanji_

"... If you don't come and get it I'll just throw it away." – _Zoro_

" s" – _Sanji_

"Ok as you wish" – _Zoro_

"Don't you throw it away marimo I will fuck you up" – _Sanji_

"Just you try" – _Zoro_

" _About that_ , can you sit today?" – _Zoro_

"Cut the crap moss-head and don't get too carried away" – _Sanji_

"Your denial has a unique taste" – _Zoro_

"Just like my foot kicking your face" – _Sanji_

"You're being bitter just cause you're getting fucked" – _Zoro_

"In every way possible" – _Zoro_

"You're enjoying this too much, shitty marimo" – _Sanji_

"I'm even taking screenshots" – _Zoro_

"┌∩┐(ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐" – _Sanji_

"凸(¬‿¬)" – _Zoro_

"(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻" – _Sanji_

"I'll take the tie back tonight" – _Sanji_

"Yeah it's not like everyone will notice it, along with your messy hair and your barely buttoned shirt" – _Zoro_

"I was in a hurry and you know that" – _Sanji_

"Not my fault your alarm went off" – _Zoro_

"Luffy's gonna guess something's off soon, you should come to my flat tonight" – _Sanji_

"Already missing me?" – _Zoro_

"You're unbearable." – _Sanji_

"Just take the damn tie with you" – _Sanji_

[...]

"What tie?" – _Zoro_

"Did you throw it out?" – _Sanji_

[...]

"New phone who dis" – _Zoro_

" _MARIMO_ ヽ(╬ Д⊙)ﾉ┌┛)๏д๏)ﾉ" – _Sanji_

* * *

"Are you going out with us to the bar today, Brook?" – _Usopp_

"Ah sorry Usopp-san, I cannot. I promised Chopper a piano session." – _Brook_

"What really?! How come he didn't tell me?" – _Usopp_

"Oh we just started the project! We thought that'd help him get some time to relax. Apparently he's had several complicated things to deal with at the hospital." – _Brook_

"Ah damn, tell him I said 'break a leg'! ╭ (oㅇ‿ o#)ᕗ" – _Usopp_

"I'm not sure that's the right expression to use for a doctor" – _Brook_

"And it'd be more fun to say 'break a bone' yohohoho!" – _Brook_

"... No? It wouldn't?" – _Usopp_

"Breaking my heart, Usopp-san" – _Brook_

"If only I had one!" – _Brook_

"It's the fifth time this week and we're only tuesday morning. Blocked for abuse of skeleton jokes." – _Usopp_

"YOU WOULDN'T!" – _Brook_

"Oh you think?" – _Usopp_

"Look you didn't!" – _Brook_

"Damn, true" – _Usopp_

"How about you stop though?" – _Usopp_

"Can you stop lying?" – _Brook_

"I don't lie, I am just making reality look prettier." – _Usopp_

"I could feel it in my bones." – _Brook_

"?" – _Usopp_

"Is that another pun" – _Usopp_

"Not on purpose I swear!" – _Brook_

"I have a bone to pick with you this time" – _Usopp_

"... You did not just-" – _Brook_

"Oh, I did." – _Usopp_

" _GASP_ " – _Brook_

"You will not get away with this" – _Brook_

* * *

"So Luffy's cat got kitties, would you take some of them to avoid a disaster?" – _Nami_

"Oh she already gave birth?" – _Robin_

"... You knew?" – _Nami_

"? I assumed everyone knew?" – _Robin_

"Robin, do me a favor." – _Nami_

"When you know something, learn to tell people, please." – _Nami_

"By people you mean you?" – _Robin_

"Exactly." – _Nami_

"I will think about it :)" – _Robin_

"Thanks" – _Nami_

"Now the kitties?" – _Nami_

"I'm not sure" – _Robin_

"They're cute" – _Nami_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Nami_

"The one on the left" – _Robin_

"... the pathetic looking one?" – _Nami_

"Yes." – _Robin_

"His name is Drakon." – _Robin_

"... (ᅌᴗᅌ* )" – _Nami_

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ITS GENDER ALREADY" – _Nami_

"I have eyes everywhere ꉂꉂ ( ˆᴗˆ )" – _Robin_

"This is worryingly creepy" – _Nami_

* * *

"MEATLOAF POOPED BABIES" – _Luffy_

"Nami hit me to say 'Meatloaf gave birth to babies'" – _Luffy_

"It hurt" – _Luffy_

"And she's saying I should give one to you" – _Luffy_

"Do you want a pooped kitty Torao!?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"She hit me again it hurt more than expected" – _Luffy_

"Do you want newborn kitties Torao?!" – _Luffy_

"We got nine, one of them almost died but made it! Nami, Franky and Robin are taking one already!" – _Luffy_

"Zoro almost passed out when he saw the kitties when he came back tonight, it was fun! I think they'll get along really good!" – _Luffy_

* * *

[Group conversation]

"MEATLOA BABIES (屮゜Д゜)屮" – _Luffy_

"(屮゜Д゜)屮 (屮゜Д゜)屮 (屮゜Д゜)屮" – _Luffy_

"╚═། . ◯ o ◯ . །═╝" – _Ace_

"✧∑d(ỗ ω ỗ)" – _Sabo_

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it goes" – _Sabo_

"Wasn't Meatloaf supposed to be a male?!" – _Ace_

"(థฺˇ౪ˇథ) Hey Sabo, Ace thinks Meatloaf is a male even though he just gave birth" – _Luffy_

"(ಡ艸ಡ) Isn't it hilarious (ಡ艸ಡ)" – _Luffy_

"? IS _LUFFY_ MOCKING _ME_ " – _Ace_

"Well, Luffy you just _did_ call Meatloaf 'he'..." – _Sabo_

"And your first words were _'Meatloaf_ pooped _babies'_..." – _Sabo_

"Wrong! I said _'MEATLOA BABIES (_ _屮゜_ _Д_ _)_ _屮_ _'_!" – _Luffy_

"Unbelievable" – _Ace_

"Unbelievable ლ(=ↀωↀ=)ლ" – _Sabo_

"ლ(=ↀωↀ=)ლ Unbelievable ლ(=ↀωↀ=)ლ" – _Luffy_

"... Are _YOU TWO_ making fun of me now?!" – _Ace_

"? I wouldn't! I **CA** n **'T** believe you'd think that!" – _Sabo_

"Is this supposed to be a pun" – _Ace_

"SHISHISHI GOOD ONE SABO ⤴︎ ε=ε=(ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶ ⤴︎" – _Luffy_

"No? IT SUCKED?" – _Ace_

"You have a bad sense of humor Ace ಡ ੴಡ" – _Luffy_

"You even put it in bold to make sure we'd notice it?" – _Ace_

"I'm-" – _Ace_

"(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o))) You know my phone can act funny sometimes" – _Sabo_

"凸ಠ益ಠ)凸" – _Ace_

" _le gasp_ how rude Ace!" – _Sabo_

"ヽ༼ ಠ益ಠ ༽ﾉ" – _Ace_

"ヽ༼ ಠ益ಠ ༽ﾉ" – _Luffy_

"? Whose side are you on Luffy?!" – _Sabo_

"MEAT'S SIDE" – _Luffy_

"Surprisingly not surprising" – _Ace_

"Indeed" – _Sabo_

"So what are you gonna do with the Pooped Kitties?" – _Sabo_

"How many are there?" – _Ace_

"Nine! And gonna find them a place to live!" – _Luffy_

"Do you want some?" – _Luffy_

"Oddly I'm not tempted in getting pooped kitties" – _Sabo_

"And I'm not sure Koala'd agree anyway" – _Sabo_

"I'm too busy trying to handle a wild pineapple?" – _Ace_

"Okay then tell me if you change your mind!" – _Luffy_

"Sure!" – _Sabo_

"Will do!" – _Ace_

"(งಠل͜ಠ)ง" – _Luffy_

"(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง" – _Ace_

"(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง" – _Sabo_

* * *

"Oi Torao" – _Luffy_

"Do you know why people make it such a big deal to put pineapple on pizza?" – _Luffy_

"It's just _food_ on _food_?!" – _Luffy_

"It's edible so it's good?" – _Luffy_

"Let's just eat and enjoy it?" – _Luffy_

* * *

"I don't know who you're texting to Luffy, but FOOD IS AN ART it's not just GOOD" – _Sanji_

"WHY IS IT BAD WHEN I LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER TO SEE WHO YOU'RE TEXTING TO, BUT IT'S OKAY FOR YOU?" – _Luffy_

"BECAUSE" – _Sanji_

[…]

"?" – _Luffy_

"Shut up and go wash your hands we're gonna eat soon." – _Sanji_

"*Ç*/" – _Luffy_

"And you're right I'm sorry" – _Luffy_

"Your food isn't good it's delicious" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Just get your hands clean ok ε-('ﾍ´○)┓" – _Sanji_

* * *

"... Sanji doesn't like pineapple on pizza" – _Luffy_

"I just asked him Torao!" – _Luffy_

"He's a cook!" – _Luffy_

"AnD HE doESN't LiKE iT" – _Luffy_

"It's alright I guess? But I'm sHOOK" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Zoro asked for pineapple pizza because he heard Sanji" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Sanji said it was an abomination" – _Luffy_

"Zoro laughed and said something I didn't understand" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Sanji kicked him in the face" – _Luffy_

[...]

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"Usopp took a picture and made a meme out of it this is hilarious!" – _Luffy_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"I asked him to write 'when you hear there's no more meat' but Usopp says it's only relatable for me" – _Luffy_

"If it's relatable why doesn't he make it a meme? that's the goal isnt it?" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Nami asked Sanji to do one for her" – _Luffy_

[...]

"... Sanji left to prepare a pineapple pizza for Nami" – _Luffy_

"Zoro's paying Nami" – _Luffy_

"Wait what" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Do you like pineapple pizza Torao?" – _Luffy_

"Do tell when you're done with your day!" – _Luffy_

* * *

[Calling number]

[Ongoing call]

[End of call: 3min47]

"Did you butt-dialed me again or did you call me to talk about boring scientific stuff without listening to a word I say?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"Cause in either cases that was pretty boring Torao" – _Luffy_

"Your voice was so far and I couldn't get anything that was said" – _Luffy_

"I guess you were talking to other people though cause I think other people replied?" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Or maybe that's FireFly" – _Luffy_

"I always talk to Meatloaf after all" – _Luffy_

"But at least Meatloaf meows back at me, if FireFly doesn't that's pretty rude" – _Luffy_

"Not that I'd expect your pet dragon to meow but at least reply!" – _Luffy_

"What's a dragon's language?" – _Luffy_

"I know you said it wasn't a dragon but I think you're just denying the obvious." – _Luffy_

"And yes I really think FireFly is the best name" – _Luffy_

[…]

"You have a deeper voice than I thought though!" – _Luffy_

"That's pretty cool" – _Luffy_

"I like it" – _Luffy_

* * *

"I don't understand, did something happen?" – _Bepo_

"What I understand is that your constant worries are called harassment" – _Law_

"Here it goes. You usually don't react like that..." – _Bepo_

"Maybe you usually don't know me" – _Law_

"I'm sorry. I just want to help you" – _Bepo_

[…]

"I'm just not feeling myself lately." – _Law_

"Is it bad?" – _Bepo_

"What?" – _Law_

"Not to feel like yourself" – _Bepo_

[…]

"Did something change?" – _Bepo_

"No." – _Law_

* * *

"Marimo, I have something important to tell you" – _Sanji_

"I'm not listening." – _Zoro_

"..." – _Sanji_

"ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛Σ(ノ´Д`)ノ" – _Sanji_

"Tu empestes tellement fort que j'aimerai mieux mourir que passer ma prochaine soirée à tes côtés. Prends une putain de douche." – _Sanji_

"何言ってんのかさっぱりわかんねぇが、どうせバカみてぇな事だろ バカだしな"– _Zoro_

"T'es au courant que Google Traduction existe, hein ?" – _Sanji_

"ケッ グーグル翻訳使ってもアホにゃオレが何言ってるかわかんねぇよ ま、アホで頑固な奴はアホなりに頑張りな。"– _Zoro_

"Okay donc on est parti sur ça ? Pas de soucis, ça me va. C'est pas comme si tu avais grand chose d'intéressant à dire de tout façon, Japonais ou pas." – _Sanji_

"フランス語が分かるからってバカはバカだろ ひらがなも読めねぇくせに威張り散らしやがって情けねぇ 。"– _Zoro_

"Tes cheveux ne veulent rien dire. On dirait une pelouse mal tondue. Des algues des mers. Des petits bouts de brocolis paumés." – _Sanji_

"何だとブロッコリー野郎 テメェの頭に生えてる藻顔面にも生やしたらどうだ、今よかイケメンになるぞ。"– _Zoro_

"Anyway, I'll see you at the bar?" – _Sanji_

"I'm already there, you're late" – _Zoro_

"Or I'm just in time and you're an alcoholic" – _Sanji_

"Funny you say that you when you can't handle liquor" – _Zoro_

"Oh, wanna bet?" – _Sanji_

"I wouldn't refuse effortless money" – _Zoro_

"You're gonna regret this" – _Sanji_

"Sure I will" – _Zoro_

 **xXx**

Translation:

" _You stink so much I'd rather die than spend my next evening by your side. Take a fucking shower._ " – _**Sanji**_

" _I have no idea what you just said but I'll assume it was something stupid and annoying so I'm just gonna insult you you freaking moron_ " – _**Zoro**_

" _You're aware Google Translation exists, right?" –_ _ **Sanji**_

" _Even with Google Translation you'll be too dumb to get my language. I guess you can still try after all you've always been a hopeless stubborn guy." –_ _ **Zoro**_

" _Okay so that's where we're heading? Sure, fine by me. It's not like you had anything interesting to say anyway, Japanese or not." –_ _ **Sanji**_

" _You think you're so fancy speaking French whenever you want, how clever are you now? I bet you can't even freaking read simple hiragana." –_ _ **Zoro**_

" _Your hair doesn't mean anything. It looks like a badly mown grass. Seaweeds. Little lost broccoli babies." –_ _**Sanji**_

" _Broccolis, right. So if you wanna get onto this, you know that thing you call hair eating half of your face? You should let it eat everything to spare the world a bit.") –_ _**Zoro**_

* * *

"We need to talk." – _Nami_

"Why?" – _Usopp_

"About the bet." – _Nami_

"What bet?" – _Usopp_

"(。≖ˇ∀ˇ≖。)" – _Nami_

"Do you want to die so young?" – _Nami_

"Alright alright! What's up?" – _Usopp_

"I just wanna know if you have the money available already" – _Nami_

"I still am trying to get back what I lent to Zoro, I'm having a hard time." – _Nami_

"You just want to swim in a pool of gold, don't you" – _Usopp_

"Maybe so, what's wrong with that?" – _Nami_

"But as I told you last time, there's no way they'd ever date! And even if they _ever_ did, there's no proof whatsoever they are!" – _Usopp_

" _Yet_ " – _Nami_

"I just wanted to make sure you were getting ready to eat your own pride" – _Nami_

"..." – _Usopp_

"You know you're scary af sometimes" – _Usopp_

"Why thank you! ❤" – _Nami_

* * *

 _[Previous message - Bepo: "Did something change?"]_

"Yes." – _Law_

"What happened?" – _Bepo_

"I can't talk to him anymore." – _Law_

"Luffy?" – _Bepo_

"Why?" – _Bepo_

"I just can't." – _Law_

"Is he a creep?" – _Bepo_

"No that's not it" – _Law_

"Did he do something that was suspect?" – _Bepo_

"Bepo, I'm not some sixteen-year-old kid" – _Law_

"Maybe, but that can happen to anyone" – _Bepo_

"But he is" – _Law_

"He is?" – _Bepo_

"Luffy" – _Law_

"He's really 16?" – _Bepo_

"I don't know, maybe more but what does it change?" – _Law_

"He sent me a picture." – _Law_

"And that's why you stopped talking to him?" – _Bepo_

[…]

"Do you enjoy talking to him?" – _Bepo_

[…]

"Does it make you feel happy to talk to him?" – _Bepo_

"Are you smiling when you talk to him?" – _Bepo_

"If you think you're backing off because of the _poor_ age gap between you two, then you're fooling yourself." – _Bepo_

"You know very well what I mean. You know very well what I'm referring to." – _Bepo_

"Don't kick him out of your life because you're scared." – _Bepo_

* * *

"Yes?" – _Unknown number_

"Only replying now, Bepo?" – _Shachi_

"Bepo?" – _Unknown number_

"Who's that?" – _Unknown number_

"Don't act like you didn't know man, we have a surgery coming up we need you!" – _Shachi_

* * *

[Group conversation]

"I can't believe it worked someone replied to my 'wrong number'!" – _Shachi_

"No way!" – _Penguin_

"What did you say?" – _Bepo_

"I asked why Bepo wasn't here yet for a surgery" – _Shachi_

"This is _literally_ copyright on how it started with Law" – _Penguin_

"STOP USING MY NAME AS AN EXCUSE" – _Bepo_

"What, you mean Law typed a wrong number on purpose?" – _Penguin_

"No, I really did change my number last year, remember? It's not like him to do what we just tried" – _Bepo_

"And succeeded to do!" – _Shachi_

"So are you like, having a conversation now?" – _Penguin_

"I don't know she didn't reply yet" – _Shachi_

"She? Man, you should think about this twice before assuming anything" – _Penguin_

"Be careful not to be a creep though ( ͡°Ĺ̯̿̿ ͡°)" – _Bepo_

"It's alright you know me I just wanna chat!" – _Shachi_

"I mean if even Law enjoys having an online friendship it must be nice (ಠ.ಠ)" – _Shachi_

"Friendship?" – _Bepo_

"Are you suggesting something else?" – _Penguin_

"Well I'm not blind" – _Bepo_

"HAH I KNEW IT" – _Shachi_

"HE HAS A CRUSH!" – _Shachi_

"I wouldn't go so far but Law _does_ have this weird face when he gets one of his texts..." – _Bepo_

"You mean the 'looks like a girl who got a text from her crush' face? (≖ ‿ ≖)" – _Shachi_

"I wouldn't go _that_ far" – _Penguin_

"Oh you're just blinded by your hat Penguin" – _Shachi_

"Oh because your hair is invisible maybe?" – _Penguin_

"That was low" – _Shachi_

"Guys don't start a fight please!" – _Bepo_

"Anyway I wanna know what's going on with your 'wrong number' person, I'm coming" – _Penguin_

"Sure I guess" – _Shachi_

"It's Netflix night anyway come along Bepo" – _Shachi_

"I forgot it was today shit" – _Bepo_

"Can't come?" – _Shachi_

"I have to talk to Law first" – _Bepo_

* * *

"I think you got the wrong number" – _Unknown number_

"What really?" – _Shachi_

"I'm not Bepo and I don't know anything about surgery..." – _Unknown number_

"Oh, I am really sorry I bothered you then" – _Shachi_

"It's alright! It can happen to the best of us ;)" – _Unknown number_

"Is everything okay though?" – _Unknown number_

"Oh yes, I'm a doctor so it's just an everyday operation to me" – _Shachi_

"You're doing surgeries everyday? Is the town where you're living that bad?" – _Unknown number_

"Well- not everyday, but you know, it's not new to me" – _Shachi_

"Wow, you're so brave~ And for how long have you been doing this?" – _Unknown number_

"Oh but I don't want to keep you from working! Forgive my curiosity" – _Unknown number_

"It's okay! I'm on a break right now!" – _Shachi_

"It's been a few years already now, I don't really count, it's a passion for me... killing diseases, saving people, the usual doctor's business" – _Shachi_

"But what about that Bepo? Did you manage to get in touch?" – _Unknown number_

"Oh yeah! We sorted it out everything's clear now! Thanks for asking :)" – _Shachi_

"That's amazing! I'm glad it turned okay, I would have felt so bad somehow..." – _Unknown number_

"That's not your fault! I must have made a mistake when I wrote down his phone number..." – _Shachi_

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing (^-^*)/" – _Unknown number_

"I'm Caty by the way!" – _Unknown number_

"Nice to meet you Caty, I'm Shachi" – _Shachi_

"Pleased to meet you (*^▽^*)" – _Caty_

* * *

"Law?" – _Luffy_

* * *

Aand thank you for reading!  
I'm still taking/reading suggestions, characters you'd like to read more about, discussions you want to read and blablabla. I don't think I will add more characters now, except Vivi but this is not entirely sure. I just love Vivi.

AND I HAVE BEEN HONOURED, the amazing **mayosyrupc** on Tumblr started translating my fic in Thai! The presentation is really cute and well, check it out if you're speaking Thai!~

Now if you take some time to just let me know what you thought about this chapter, that would make me very very very happy! Good or bad, your opinion matters - as long as this remains respectful!  
Have a great day and see you... maybe soon~(≖ ‿ ≖)~


	7. Chapter 7

I don't know man. Seriously.  
I had a plan, a plot and everything and it just turned into memes and bad jokes and puns.  
Honestly I'm just confused by this chapter. So huh. Just read it and yeah? Find out what's going on.  
Cause I'm lost. And confused.  
Hrm.

My beta, Blue, helped me a lot to inspire me (and next chapter which is already started) and everyone's comments on this fic were amazing. Also, Julia, the bro to my bro, was this chapter's brota c: She's amazing let's clap clap for her. Also, go read her fics cause she rocks - you probably already have, her name's Shishiswordsman on AO3. Actually that's not an option, open a new page and check her fics, you gotta.  
Also. The LawLu discord chat. I yelled a lot there. This fic is killing my brain, no lies. So I'm thanking everyone who supported me :D  
Anyways. Enjoy~

* * *

 **Nami Or How To Behave Like A Good Friend**

* * *

"Confess." – Nami

"What?" – Sanji

"You and Zoro." – Nami

"? still not getting it (ಠ.ಠ)" – Sanji

"S-a-n-j-i." – Nami

[...]

"Wait, just a sex" – Sanji

"I KNEW IT" – Nami

[…]

"No, I meant just a sex" – Sanji

"*A sex" – Sanji

"*sex" – Sanji

"COME ON" – Sanji

"Your phone knows." – Nami

"How dare you lie to me?" – Nami

"Nami-swan, that's just a typo." – Sanji

"Yeah, and Zoro's a typo too?" – Nami

"What? ( ﾟｰﾟ)" – Sanji

"GET MY POINT DAMMIT （╬ಠ益ಠ)" – Nami

* * *

"Hey man! I started a new mechanical... thing I guess? No idea where I'm going so far, wanna come by and see? I trust your imagination. ミヾ(∇≦((ヾ(≧∇≦)〃))≧∇)ノ彡 " – Usopp

"Franky is gonna take his tools to work on it with me as well!" – Usopp

"SO COOL! I'm on my way! ᕕ( ◎_◎)ᕗ" – Luffy

* * *

"Yo Torao~" – Luffy

"I guess you're pretty busy with your job and stabbing people to life but remember to take breaks to eat some meat." – Luffy

[...]

"Or maybe your phone broke since it's been more than a week?" – Luffy

[...]

"If that's about what I said about pineapple pizza, I won't change my mind!" – Luffy

"And if you don't like it that's okay, you can always give your piece to me" – Luffy

"Food is food" – Luffy

"It doesn't matter in the end it's just smashed all together in your stomach anyway?" – Luffy

[...]

"Don't tell Sanji I said that. (ಠ.ಠ)" – Luffy

* * *

"You're not coming to the bar?" – Nami

"Nope, I have a project needing my full attention." – Usopp

"Luffy told me about it but dude, it's been three days since? Take a break." – Nami

"Are you taking a break from our bet in order to get money?" – Usopp

"No" – Nami

"Same thing (≖͞_≖̥)" – Usopp

"Alright, but I'm going full on Operation Zoro & Sanji Are Dating tonight. You're gonna miss something (￣□￣)" – Nami

"Nah I'm sure it's gonna be fine" – Usopp

"Don't come back crying then when I'll ask you for money （*థ౪థ）" – Nami

"Well, make sure you'll have a proof then (¬‿¬)" – Usopp

"You-" – Nami

"You'd do the same. I know you're cold in business, don't lie, I learnt from the best (*˘︶˘*).｡.:* " – Usopp

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment" – Nami

"Brace yourself I'm gonna make updates all night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" – Nami

"Oh boy ಥ_ಥ" – Usopp

* * *

"Remember when you bet you could beat me at a drinking game? Well then tonight's the time to prove yourself, shitty marimo. （థ3థ）" – Sanji

"Are you really thinking you can make it? The only person able to keep up with me in our squad is the redhead witch. 눈‿눈" – Zoro

"Consider it kindness I'm trying to help you avoid a shameful situation." – Zoro

"Oh really? Looks like you're just running away from a fight, like a freaking algae." – Sanji

"One day you'll realise what algae actually are and can't fucking run you stupid cook" – Zoro

"Right, you can't even fucking run" – Sanji

"Jesus Christ. I can't wait to see the look on your face when you realize how stupid you've been. No wait. How stupid you are." – Zoro

"Don't underestimate me, Moss for Brain." – Sanji

"Underestimating you? No, I've just seen you drinking before. Drinking red wine. (≖͞_≖̥)" – Zoro

"There's nothing wrong in enjoying some nice beverage! Alcohol isn't just about getting drunk!" – Sanji

"Yeah yeah, good luck getting me drunk anyway." – Zoro

"Wait, have you never been drunk?" – Sanji

"Huh yea I have. But you need a lot to get me there man (´3`)" – Zoro

"Whatever. See you tonight." – Sanji

"Sure." – Zoro

* * *

"Oh my god Usopp." – Nami

"I can't believe how easy it was to get them to that drinking contest" – Nami

"I didn't even have to do a thing?" – Nami

"They already planned on doing this." – Nami

"They are so dumb I can't" – Nami

"I just need to make Zoro's drinks stronger now." – Nami

"Wait" – Usopp

"Are you going to drug your friends? (๏д๏)" – Usopp

"What? No, just Zoro." – Nami

"OH yes sorry my bad it's obviously changing EVERYTHING that it is only ONE friend ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)" - Usopp

"Oh well, if you don't like it why don't you just come over?" – Nami

"Or I could like" – Usopp

"Just send Zoro a text" – Usopp

"Nice try but I already took their phones away" – Nami

"HOW (｢⊙Д⊙)｢" – Usopp

"Are you really asking? Zoro was ordering drinks and put it on the table, and Sanji tried to hug me." – Nami

"It's like they were asking for those to be stolen (ᅌᴗᅌ* )" – Nami

"I'm" – Usopp

""(ლ)"" – Usopp

"Nami, no" – Usopp

"They were not ლ(ಠ益ಠლ" – Usopp

"Heh anyway, it's not drugs I just asked the barman to make it stronger (。≖ˇ∀ˇ≖。)" – Nami

"How did you get him to do that?" – Usopp

"I'm getting really offended by your questions now (❀◦‿◦)" – Nami

"Alright alright, my bad." – Usopp

"So then what? What if you get them drunk, what's the plan? It's not like you could make them do anything you want, even drunk." – Usopp

"I won't do a thing. They will just do everything themselves. I'm sure they'll break." – Nami

"You really sound like a villain, woman. Don't you think you're too deep into this?" – Usopp

"I'm NOT losing bets, Usopp. Ever." – Nami

"There's a first time for everything" – Usopp

"Not for this." – Nami

"That's what you say" – Usopp

"Yes that's exactly what I'm saying" – Nami

* * *

"Fufufu Nami, if you look on your right you'll find a stronger vodka." – Robin

"Robin, you're a lifesaver °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°" – Nami

"(*˘︶˘*).｡.:* " – Robin

* * *

"Zoro and Franky decided to arm wrestle. What a shame you're not here to bet on this one." – Nami

"You know you can bet with someone else too, right?" – Usopp

"I did." – Nami

"Who?" – Usopp

"Sanji" – Nami

"He bet on Franky" – Nami

"I'd say the suitable words for this would be 'against Zoro' ヽ[ ಡ ⌂ ಡ ]⊃" – Usopp

[...]

"And I won :D" – Nami

"Not surprising since, you know, I never lose a bet." – Nami

"I feel somehow threatened and I don't know how you did that" – Usopp

"Which is terrifying." – Usopp

" ;) " – Nami

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – Luffy

"Man, Zoro is so strong, it was close though, Franky wouldn't let it go! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧" – Luffy

"It's funny how Sanji was into it, being all hyped for Franky" – Luffy

* * *

"Mind if I call you?" – Bepo

"As a matter of fact, yes" – Law

"Come on, are you really going to avoid me now, too?" – Bepo

[...]

"I looked his profile up on Facebook. He's not 16." – Bepo

"Bepo, what the fuck" – Law

"No but seriously" – Bepo

"What the actual fuck." – Law

"Did you REALLY not look it up?" – Bepo

"That's none of my business" – Law

"And yet you're making it your business" – Bepo

"He gave away his full name, sends you pictures of things he does, of his friends, of him and his brothers, and you still think it's just 'a guy who typed a wrong number'? Relationships evolve, Law." – Bepo

"What are you saying?" – Law

"Well, now at least, if anything you're friends." – Bepo

"Why the need for labels?" – Law

"How would you call it?" – Bepo

"I'm not calling it anything" – Law

"Yeah, and you're not texting it either." – Bepo

"I guess that's what happens eventually with some people" – Law

"I gave you enough space, I think you just need to go straight to what's bothering you and solve it." – Bepo

"Or I could just talk to him now ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ" – Bepo

"[Picture MMS]" – Bepo

"Don't you dare" – Law

"I thought you didn't care?" – Bepo

"This is backstabbing and you know it!" – Law

"No offense Mr. Surgeon of Death, but right now you look like a teen boy frozen by the thought to say 'hi' to his crush. That's out of character." – Bepo

[...]

"Offense taken, I guess." – Bepo

"Probably blocked too, I guess." – Bepo

"You can't run away forever. We work together and we need to be able to communicate anytime" – Bepo

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – Luffy

"I've never seen Zoro and Sanji getting along so well! ヾ（⌒ヮ⌒）ゞ" – Luffy

"Robin says she and Nami helped." – Luffy

"I asked 'how' but she just chuckled and Nami shushed her" – Luffy

"I'll eventually figure out what's going on (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – Luffy

"I suppose maybe Sanji cooked something katana-shaped and Zoro cut some of Sanji's food and now they're friends( ﾟｰﾟ)" – Luffy

"What do you think? That's my best shot!" – Luffy

"Usopp would probably go like 'they're not real and someone replaced them with clones' or something" – Luffy

"I kinda doubt that." – Luffy

"Food is more likely." – Luffy

"Food is everything ٩( ε )۶" – Luffy

* * *

"You know very well it's not just about the age." – Law

"Then what?" – Bepo

"It's just, that guy." – Law

"You don't like him?" – Bepo

"I mean, I don't understand why we're still debating about this, yes you like him, yes you're disturbed, yes you should do something about it starting by ending this silence. Once, someone kicked my ass whenever I was too nervous to just talk to someone in the freaking hospital I worked in, because it was terribly stupid and inconvenient for my job. Once, someone told me to stand up for myself against the bullying. Once, someone taught me not to run away and just take the time to adapt to things, just give it a try. Well, I listened. I wish you'd do the same for yourself." – Bepo

"… How long have you been holding on about this?" – Law

"Oh, you have no idea (꒪⌓꒪)" – Bepo

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – Luffy

"... Did you photoshop that? =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)" – Usopp

"Nope! Sanji and Zoro are getting along so well, Sanji doesn't even flirt around and Zoro's snorting all the time" – Luffy

"They are fake" – Usopp

"Fake?" – Usopp

"Y'know, like, not real!" – Usopp

"I knew you'd say that shishi" – Luffy

"But you know they just pretend being angry all the time?" – Luffy

"Well yeah but it's not like they were close or anything =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)" – Usopp

"Huh they are" – Luffy

"=͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)"

"=͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇) w a t =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)" – Usopp

"Well, aren't we all? Friends? Nakama? (۶•౪•)۶ ٩(•౪•٩)" – Luffy

"God damnit Luffy, yes, we are, but I mean, there's close, and, you know, close." – Usopp

"What?" – Luffy

"( ˘ ³˘) That close?" – Usopp

"? What? Ily too 'Sopp but I don't understand what you're talking about (￣□￣)" – Luffy

"Just- how close do they look?" – Usopp

[…]

"Luffy?" – Usopp

"Zoro's talking about Sanji being stupid and Sanji's talking about Zoro being stupid" – Luffy

"Oh that's fine" – Usopp

"And they're holding each other by the shoulder" – Luffy

"Really?" – Usopp

"Doing what?" – Usopp

"Laughing? Idk, why don't you just come? You're missing out the fun!" – Luffy

"I definitely can't (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)" – Usopp

"Why's that?" – Luffy

"This thing called fear ╥﹏╥" – Usopp

"What's going on?" – Luffy

"Usopp?" – Luffy

"Who do I fight?" – Luffy

"No I mean it's ok, I just gotta get back to work, see ya!" – Usopp

* * *

"Franky?" – Usopp

"Yeah man?" – Franky

"Can I ask you for a tiny, tiny favour? Please?" – Usopp

"Anything bro" – Franky

"Can you set the bar on fire?" – Usopp

"..." – Franky

"(ಠ.ಠ)" – Franky

"You drunk 'Sopp?" – Franky

"It's important!" – Usopp

"How important" – Franky

"Like, desperate important" – Usopp

"Like SUPER important?" – Franky

"Like, setting a bar on fire important щ(ಥДಥщ)" – Usopp

"Why would I do that?" – Franky

"Because we're friends?" – Usopp

"I'm not doing that. We're having fun here man, that'd be SUPER uncool" – Franky

"A shame you can't be here but that doesn't mean we should set things on fire because you're jealous" – Franky

"It's not like that! щ(ºДºщ)" – Usopp

"What is it like then?" – Franky

"It's complicated." – Usopp

"Try me" – Franky

[...]

"Ok." – Usopp

"Nami and I made a bet." – Usopp

"Bro, set fire to your own house and run (ಠ_ಠ)" – Franky

"I KNOW." – Usopp

"But I thought I could win" – Usopp

"Thought?" – Franky

"What is it about?" – Franky

"Huh" – Usopp

"Zoro and Sanji" – Usopp

"Zoro and Sanji?" – Franky

"Having a thing" – Usopp

"What? What kind of thing?" – Franky

"(;¬_¬)" – Usopp

[...]

"Oh." – Franky

"OH." – Franky

"No. No? Nooooo. I mean? Come on. Zoro? Sanji? Them? Together? No way." – Franky

"No?" – Franky

[...]

"Oh my God now that you mention it" – Franky

"It DOES look like they're cuddling ლ(ಠ益ಠლ" – Franky

[...]

"Oh my god they're cuddling?" – Franky

"MAN THEY ARE TOTALLY CUDDLING" – Franky

"[PICTURE MMS]" – Franky

"WHAT THE HELL I WAS BLIND AND GOD GAVE ME SIGHT" – Franky

"As much as I appreciate being called god or whatever" – Usopp

"Please save me (｢⊙Д⊙)｢" – Usopp

"...You bet against?" – Franky

"Kinda" – Usopp

"You're screwed" – Franky

" e" – Usopp

"No can do bro ( •᷄⌓•᷅ )" – Franky

"I mean, I can hide you for a while if you want" – Franky

"You're betraying me?" – Usopp

"Dude, Zoro and Sanji, they're my SUPER bros too" – Franky

"Why are you such a good damn friend" – Usopp

"Actually no you're not since you're letting me DOWN." – Usopp

"And cuddling means nothing. I bet they're NOT even cuddling. And even if they were? They're drunk. Drunk people do stupid stuff when they're drunk." – Usopp

"Yeah, exactly. Stupid stuff like, letting out a hidden relationship." – Franky

"I'm calling Iceberg, maybe HE could help me fake my death." - Usopp

"You don't have his number" – Franky

"Oh, I have it!" – Usopp

"Really? What is it then?" – Franky

"Why would I give it to you?" – Usopp

"You wouldn't because his phone's been dead for a while now :D" - Franky

"Everybody hates me ( ｡_｡)" – Usopp

"Hey now, whatever is happening doesn't mean Zoro and Sanji are actually dating." – Franky

"... Oh shit" – Franky

"WHAT" – Usopp

"What's going on?" – Usopp

[…]

"FRANKY?" – Usopp

* * *

[Group conversation]

"So he doesn't want to admit he has a crush on Luffy if I'm getting this right?" – Jean Bart

"Basically." – Bepo

"This is so sad Bepo play 'My Heart Will Go On'" – Jean Bart

"Ain't that the song from 'Titanic'?" – Shachi

"Yeah and the ship sank" – Bepo

"Le gasp" – Shachi

"Rafiki Night is on" – Shachi

"? I'm? the WHAT?" – Penguin

"Operation Get Law Drunk? ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" – Shachi

"? Rafiki?" – Penguin

"What the fuck is this name" – Jean Bart

"Who voted for that" – Bepo

"Are we really gonna debate over a name when there's a mission to take care of? Guys? Really?" – Shachi

"God" – Bepo

"I'll just forget this" – Bepo

"Delete this" – Jean Bart

"How do I leave this group" – Penguin

* * *

"Hey, Torao" – Luffy

"Did you die or something" – Luffy

* * *

[Group conversation]

"No but for real: let's get him drunk (¬‿¬)" – Jean Bart

"What?" – Bepo

"That's like the exact opposite of what he needs? ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)" – Bepo

"When in doubt, drink." – Jean Bart

"HOW IS THAT A GOOD ADVICE (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – Bepo

"Who said that? ( ﾟｰﾟ)" – Penguin

"Me." – Jean Bart

"(ಠ.ಠ)" – Bepo

"How do I leave this group: the sequel" – Bepo

"You don't. You're stuck with us forever °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°" – Shachi

"Who thought adding Bart was a good idea" – Penguin

"Everyone?" – Shachi

"Me." – Jean Bart

"Lord" – Penguin

"Ok yeah but who thought having Shachi was a good idea too?" – Jean Bart

"Excuse me? (-◦‿◦)" – Shachi

"The Rafiki Night?" – Jean Bart

"Let's not fight guys" – Bepo

"Who's fighting?" – Jean Bart

"God, I need a nap, for like, a century (´–`)" – Shachi

"Just to be on point, we're still talking about Law right" – Penguin

"Why, is there any other sentimentally disabled guy around here?" – Shachi

"Σ('◉⌓◉') Rude" – Bepo

"But so true wtf" – Bepo

"Hello, if even Bepo agrees, there's something to do" – Shachi

"So what?" – Penguin

"We drink." – Jean Bart

"I can't believe this" – Penguin

"Another idea?" – Shachi

"Maybe it's not such a big deal? Maybe, just maybe, he'll just get over it?" – Penguin

"Over what?" – Shachi

"It's not even a real crush, I mean, we don't even know? That's Law, maybe he's just having a hard time because of something else." – Penguin

"Dude, that's pretty obvious, even from Law. Especially from Law." – Jean Bart

"If they weren't so dumb it could even be cute (ʃƪ˘⌣˘)" – Shachi

"It's just weird." – Penguin

"I say, we take him, we make him drink, and then fate's at work." – Jean Bart

"Meaning?" – Bepo

"If he does something about that Luffy-guy, that's because deep down he wanted to. If not well, that's it." – Jean Bart

"I don't know if that's brilliant or completely dumb." – Shachi

"It's stupid." – Penguin

"Love's stupid ( ˘ ³˘) " – Jean Bart

"Well, there's nothing to lose trying I guess?" – Bepo

"Huh, dignity?" – Shachi

"... ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ" – Bepo

"Fuck did we ever see Law drunk?" – Shachi

"..." – Jean Bart

"... I think not" – Bepo

"Oh my god" – Shachi

"ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧ Settled." – Bepo

* * *

"Franky is so pumped up tonight! He and Robin are doing an arm wrestle now!" – Luffy

"Robin is so strong, I mean I did lose a few times to her before, remember?" – Luffy

"Nami asked if I wanted to make a bet but Zoro yelled something about moonlight and started talking about the projection of it on the ceiling of our flat and now I'm confused and have no idea what's going on" – Luffy

"I guess I'm not betting now Nami left quite mad ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" – Luffy

"She's cursing him that's so funny" – Luffy

"She does know I already don't have money though, right?" – Luffy

"Oh my god Robin is winning Σ(ノ°▽°)ノ" – Luffy

"Again" – Luffy

"Franky looks so desperate" – Luffy

"Losing two arm wrestles in a row that's unlike him! ･:*+.\\(( °ω° ))/.:+" – Luffy

"Robin knows what's up she's chuckling now" – Luffy

"[PICTURE MMS]" – Luffy

"OH MAN HE JUST LOST" – Luffy

"It felt like he just gave up? ୧ □ ୨" – Luffy

[…]

"I asked Brook why Franky'd let Robin win he avoided my question" – Luffy

"Franky is busy doing new cocktails now" – Luffy

[…]

"I asked Robin she just smiled and looked at Zoro and Sanji?" – Luffy

[…]

"What the fcuk" – Luffy

* * *

"Usopp did you know Zoro and Sanji were together?" – Luffy

"Who wHO TOLD YOU THAT" – Usopp

"Robin. And my eyes. (⊙ꇴ⊙)" – Luffy

"What?" – Usopp

"They were making out! In the corner of the bar! Franky saw them, too." – Luffy

"Actually he says he needs to do another arm wrestle cause he lost focus then" – Luffy

"I think he just really likes finding excuses to challenge people to this game." – Luffy

[…]

"'Sopp?" – Luffy

[…]

"You there?" – Luffy

"Luffy, you're sure they were, like, making out?" – Usopp

"Zoro's wearing Sanji's tie around his head and Sanji's shirt is kinda completely open." – Luffy

"Doesn't mean shit!" – Usopp

"Also, kissing ٩( ε )۶" – Luffy

"WhaT" – Usopp

"French kissing, Robin added ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎ " – Luffy

"Fuck Sanji and his French lips(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻" – Usopp

"Robin says this doesn't have anything to do with it" – Luffy

[…]

"What's up? Is it the thing with Nami?" – Luffy

"Yeah." – Usopp

"You okay?" – Luffy

"Sure." – Usopp

"Guess I'll die ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ " – Usopp

* * *

"Hey buddy, you ok?" – Shachi

"Why wouldn't I be?" – Penguin

"I don't know you seemed pretty irritated" – Shachi

"No I'm fine." – Penguin

"Sure?" – Shachi

"Yeah, I'm telling you" – Penguin

"Buddy." – Shachi

"I'm here for you." – Shachi

* * *

"Tonight we're going out ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ" – Shachi

"? No?" – Law

"No choices └(oﾟ∀ﾟo)┘" – Shachi

"What the fuck?" – Law

"We're here open the door ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" – Shachi

"Wait that was you yelling 'YOU READY YEEEET' outside?" – Law

"Maybe (。≖ˇ∀ˇ≖。)" – Shachi

"You know we won't leave without you open the door!" – Shachi

[…]

"Please stop singing I'm coming gdi" – Law

* * *

"So it's true?" – Usopp

"You know Luffy doesn't lie" – Robin

"Did they really make out in the bar what the fucking hell ಥ_ಥ" – Usopp

"You know, it's nothing" – Robin

"What do you mean? (๑°⌓°๑)" – Usopp

"Well, when I was in my 20s, once I-" – Robin

"ROBIN PLEASE NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW Σ(◦⃝⃚⃙⃘⃙⃚⃙⃚⃙⃘⃑△◦⃝⃚⃙⃘⃙⃐ﾉ)ﾉ" – Usopp

"I know :) you needed some teasing, relax a bit dear sniper." – Robin

"You do know how to talk to me but please that doesn't change how dead I am." – Usopp

"Well technically there's no material proof." – Robin

[…]

"Oh" – Robin

"Oh?" – Usopp

"What do you mean oh?" – Usopp

"Robin?" – Usopp

"You'll know soon enough, Nami is already texting you." – Robin

* * *

Please feel free to yell at me, and tell me how bad this was. Or good. Can it be good? I don't know. Hhhh. What is writing?  
About the updates: I'm trying to update a bit more, but don't expect it tomorrow. I'd like to finally, maybe, one day also update Subscription to Death on AO3 and work on that Students AU I've had for almost two years. Also, I'll end this fic in 3 or 4 chapters. Depends on how long I am. After all, according to my plan, this chapter was half of what I should have posted :'D  
Thank you for your patience :3

PS: You might have realised I don't use ff a lot, seriously, use AO3 it's so much better


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER VIII**

 **The Party Or When Everything And Nothing Goes Well At The Same Time**

Finally something looking like a plot coming up!

In this chapter, a lot of Nami and Usopp talks, but I promise they'll talk a bit less after (I know this fic is LawLu focused but ZoSan got bigger than expected aah). This chapter also focuses on the party and its end.  
Fair warning: I love old songs.  
Also, mention of alcohol. I am a now well-trained writer with keyboard smashing.

Thanking my beta once again, Blue, who was real quick to correct this chapter :D Not thanking past!me who decided that putting emojis in this fic was a good idea, it's killing me. Thanking also EVERYONE who commented and left messages on ff (I'm sorry if I don't really reply on ff, the way they do things to answer reviews really is annoying to me.), AO3 and tumblr! I was so happy to get some asks aaah you're all amazing ;-; It really is inspiring to see what you liked in this fic, how much you laughed etc. :D

* * *

"What's up? :)" – _Caty_

"We're going out with a friend, gotta clear our heads!" – _Shachi_

"Good or bad?" – _Caty_

"Probably both" – _Shachi_

"Careful on who's driving (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑" – _Caty_

"No worries Jean Bart's doing it" – _Shachi_

"Your boyfriend?" – _Caty_

"What? No, just a friend, I don't have a partner" – _Shachi_

[...]

"Do you have someone?" – _Shachi_

[...]

"Do you?" – _Caty_

"... maybe?" – _Shachi_

"Then work on it tonight!" – _Caty_

* * *

"Usopp you need to get your ass here right now." – _Nami_

"Why?" – _Usopp_

"I don't want to be the only one traumatised." – _Nami_

"You do realise that's not a good motivation right?" – _Usopp_

"Usopp (❀◦‿◦)" – _Nami_

"Okay, you know what? That wouldn't change a thing. But I unlocked Zoro's phone." – _Nami_

"Pretty sure that's kinda illegal (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – _Usopp_

"I thought we were beyond that now (⊙ヮ⊙)" – _Nami_

" _You sound just like Luffy_ ლ(ಠ益ಠლ" – _Usopp_

"Okay just." – _Nami_

"I'll send you everything from Zoro's phone." – _Nami_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Zoro_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Zoro_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Zoro_

"? WHY" – _Usopp_

"BLEED" – _Zoro_

"NAMI WTF?" – _Usopp_

"NUDES?" – _Usopp_

"REALLY?" – _Usopp_

"THOSE ARE FROM ZORO'S PHONE" – _Zoro_

"WHAT THE HELL" – _Usopp_

"ABORT" – _Usopp_

* * *

"Do you have any idea where we're going? ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ" – _Shachi_

"Absolutely not." – _Bepo_

"Huh, maybe someone should like, ASK outloud or something? I don't know? ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)" – _Penguin_

"Well, y'all thought it was a good idea to let Jean drive so ( ﾟｰﾟ)" – _Shachi_

"It is a good plan! Law can't escape next to him ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ" – _Bepo_

"You're saying this like he was forced or something" – _Shachi_

"... Well that's kinda what happened. We came, yeeted him and took him on a ride (｢⊙Д⊙)｢" – _Penguin_

"No no no, it was more like, he wasn't doing okay so we went to his place, we asked him to go hang out with us and have a nice friendly time, and now here we are (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*" – _Shachi_

"That's... Penguin's version is kinda closest to the reality." – _Bepo_

"I can't believe you guys. We're his friends! He's not ok! It's our job to make him go out and ensure he's getting better? °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°" – _Shachi_

"Huh, we're just gonna get drunk you know that?" – _Bepo_

"Yeah well I don't know do you have a better solution? It's not like he talks to us a lot or anything." – _Shachi_

"Well I think maybe..." – _Bepo_

"If you say 'he needs time to think', you think again, cause this man's spending his whole freaking life thinking, it's like he's never on a break." – _Shachi_

"I can't believe you're making a point (ಠ.ಠ)." – _Penguin_

"(￣□￣) Hmm yeah so we're just gonna go to every single bar we find?" – _Bepo_

"PROBABLY YEAH" – _Shachi_

"Why the capital letters tho" – _Bepo_

"CAUSE I'M EXCITED MAN WE'VE NEVER SEEN MR. TRAFALGAR D. WATER LAW DRUNK (｢⊙Д⊙)｢" – _Shachi_

"Holy shit yeah" – _Penguin_

"I'm both excited and scared now (꒪⌓꒪)" – _Bepo_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Shachi_

"At our first bar! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ" – _Shachi_

"Who's that next to you?" – _Caty_

"Penguin :D and you can see Jean and Law's back ahah" – _Shachi_

[...]

"Oh? I think I know this place?" – _Caty_

"What really?" – _Shachi_

"Oh my god we might live in the same city? (๏д๏)" – _Shachi_

[...]

"What would be the chances?" – _Caty_

"You tell me! (ಠ.ಠ)" – _Shachi_

"Do you know someone called 'Torao'?" – _Caty_

"Huh doesn't ring a bell, sorry :/" – _Shachi_

[...]

"Don't worry" – _Caty_

* * *

"So there's something you should know " – _Usopp_

"What is it?" – _Nami_

"I have a very very very rare disease, and I don't know how many months - _weeks_ \- I have left to live ಥ_ಥ" – _Usopp_

"Oh no! But that's such a big news, why do you text it right the evening where Zoro and Sanji are about to prove I'm winning a bet I made with you? ヽ[ ಡ ⌂ ಡ ]⊃" – _Nami_

[...]

"Alright alright, I got it" – _Usopp_

"But seriously, I don't trust those pics (≖͞_≖̥)" – _Usopp_

"But you can't deny it's a good lead." – _Nami_

"I hate that you're right." – _Usopp_

"You should start counting your money, cause there'll be interests for the delay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" – _Nami_

"Σ('◉⌓◉') Seriously? Can't you be a bit nice? Just a bit? ・゜・(ノД`)" – _Usopp_

"I am nice, but I need compensation for the trauma I went through (。≖ˇ∀ˇ≖。)" – _Nami_

"Hey щ(ºДºщ) I went through the exact same thing! Because of you! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ" – _Usopp_

"A poor consolation" – _Nami_

"You're heartless щ(ಥДಥщ)" – _Usopp_

"You knew who you were dealing with don't make me the villain (*˘︶˘*).｡.:* " – _Nami_

"What's going on now? Any updates?" – _Usopp_

"They're still cuddling or whatever, blathering stupidities about themselves probably ( ˘ ³˘) " – _Nami_

"Oh wait, I should probably pay attention they might have some info (ʃƪ¬‿¬)" – _Nami_

"Some info about themselves, yes, probably, indeed, genius" – _Usopp_

"(❀◦‿◦) I don't want to hear it from someone who's trying to flee whenever he gets the chance and doesn't even show up to face reality." – _Nami_

"Are you calling me out?" – _Usopp_

"╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" – _Nami_

"⁽⁽(੭ꐦ •̀Д•́ )੭*⁾⁾ ᑦᵒᔿᵉ ᵒᐢᵎᵎ" – _Usopp_

* * *

"Ir'bk" – _Torao_

"Torao? What's up?" – _Luffy_

"I'm" – _Torao_

"?" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Torao? ( ﾟｰﾟ)" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Let's go to another pub? This one kinda sucks, Law's gonna bail on us.└(oﾟ∀ﾟo)┘" – _Bepo_

"I guess yeah? Just a few shots before we go tho? (¬‿¬)" – _Shachi_

"I'm not gonna drink, and I don't think anyone feels like it right now?" – _Bepo_

"You're wrong they're screaming for alcohol ᕕ( ◎_◎)ᕗ" – _Shachi_

"No _you're_ screaming for alcohol, what's up with you? (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – _Bepo_

"щ(ºДºщ) I just like to have fun?" – _Sachi_

"They won't drink" – _Bepo_

"Oh just watch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" – _Shachi_

* * *

"Seriously though. That doesn't prove anything about Zoro and Sanji's relationship." – _Usopp_

"I hate to agree" – _Nami_

"... Who are you and what did you do with Nami? ( ﾟｰﾟ)" – _Usopp_

"I just wanted to make you get the same trauma." – _Nami_

"Of course, you told me earlier (ﾉಥДಥ)ﾉ︵┻━┻･/" – _Usopp_

"So what about real proof?" – _Usopp_

"I searched through his phone and didn't find his conversation with Sanji." – _Nami_

"I typed 'Ero-cook', 'Shitty-cook', anything he calls him, didn't work ヽ(ー_ー )ノ" – _Nami_

"( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Did you try 'French peasant'?" – _Usopp_

"? Why?" – _Nami_

"Pretty sure I heard him say that in his sleep once（థ౪థ)" – _Usopp_

"No, why are you helping me find proof" – _Nami_

"... I have no idea. ( ｡_｡)" – _Usopp_

"We're friends? °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°" – _Usopp_

"Hah, yeah :D And friends keep their word." – _Nami_

"Like when they bet money" – _Nami_

"And owe money (。≖ˇ∀ˇ≖。)" – _Nami_

"Do you like, live by smelling money or how does it work? (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – _Usopp_

"Shush now. I need to know why this moron erased his conversation with the other dipshit, but not the nudes." – _Nami_

"Wait, are those nudes like, random people on the internet, or" – _Usopp_

"Could those be-" – _Usopp_

[…]

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME LOOK AGAIN ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛Σ(ノ´Д`)ノ" – _Nami_

"You will pay for this Usopp." – _Nami_

"Huh, well, it's not like you were _harassing_ me about that already? ಥ_ಥ" – _Usopp_

"Oh yeah damn right I am." – _Nami_

"Maybe he forgot? ヽ(´ー`)ﾉ" – _Usopp_

"No he's too clever" – _Nami_

"Maybe he's so clever he did it on purpose. Knowing you'd get your hand on his phone." – _Usopp_

"(つ◉益◉)つ THAT LITTLE FUCK" – _Nami_

"How could he have guessed?" – _Nami_

"Did someone tell him about our bet?" – _Nami_

"Well I didn't ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯" – _Usopp_

"But it's not exactly a secret is it?" – _Usopp_

"Why wouldn't it be?" – _Nami_

"... I don't know, because Luffy knows?" – _Usopp_

"You told him?" – _Nami_

"Well it's not like you didn't tell Robin or other people around either!" – _Usopp_

"Yeah, but not **the guy who does not know the definition of a secret**! ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)" – _Nami_

"He's my best friend it's not my fault! ,､'`( ꒪Д꒪),､'`'`,､" – _Usopp_

"Well I'm surrounded by idiots and it's not my fault either" – _Nami_

"I'm hurt" – _Usopp_

"You'll get over it (*˘︶˘*).｡.:* " – _Nami_

* * *

"Chopper-kun?" – _Robin_

"Yes Robin? ( ^ー^ )" – _Chopper_

"I think we will need you tomorrow, will you be free?" – _Robin_

"Yes I don't have exams in the afternoon! Why?" – _Chopper_

"Everyone - I mean some in particular - will most likely need some help to handle the consequences of alcohol and I'm afraid I can't do much now" – _Robin_

"Oh no" – _Chopper_

"Not again (´ー`)" – _Chopper_

"We keep an eye on them do not worry (*^▽^*)" – _Robin_

"Thank you Robin!" – _Chopper_

"Good luck with those studies ꉂꉂ ( ˆᴗˆ )" – _Chopper_

"Thanks! (ᗒᗨᗕ)" – _Chopper_

* * *

"Luffy-ya?" – _Torao_

[...]

"Yes?" – _Luffy_

"FireFly's a good name" – _Torao_

"So you named your dragon FireFly?" – _Luffy_

"Looks like it" – _Torao_

"And it's an _iguana_ " – _Torao_

[...]

"I'm sorry I went off for so long." – _Torao_

"I had to deal with... complicated things." – _Torao_

"Shishishi don't worry 'tis fine! Choosing a name is hard!" – _Luffy_

"It's not-" – _Torao_

[...]

"Yeah I guess （￣ー￣）" – _Torao_

"╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Remember to drink water, Zoro!" – _Chopper_

* * *

[Group conversation]

"RAFIKI NIGHT MOVINGH TO NOTHER PUUUB -(๑ ▽ #)ᕗ" – _Shachi_

"I can't believe y'all already drunk" – _Bepo_

"Already? Man tslike 1am " – _Shachi_

"10pm." – _Bepo_

"Typo" – _Shachi_

"Forgot 0 and mistook a with p? sure yeah ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ" – _Bepo_

"IS LAW DURNK ALREADY" – _Penguin_

"YEA" – _Shachi_

"No?" – _Bepo_

"I've been looking at him the whole time, he doesn't look different…" – _Jean Bart_

"How many rows?" – _Penguin_

"Stoped co unting afte r the 3rd" – _Shachi_

"Let's take it to hte next level" – _Penguin_

"What ఠ ͟ಠ" – _Bepo_

"NEW SHOTS" – _Jean Bart_

"Aren't _you_ supposed to drive?" – _Bepo_

"TO THE NEXT BAR" – _Jean Bart_

"Oh god" – _Bepo_

"I guess I'll drive" – _Bepo*_

* * *

 _*A/N: Don't drink and drive. Ask a sober friend, call a taxi or sleep inside the car, be safe._

* * *

"Franky how is everyone?" – _Chopper_

" _Suuuuper-_ Robin texted you didn't she? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧" – _Franky_

"She told me..." – _Chopper_

"Don't worry Zoro never gets a hangover" – _Franky_

"Sanji?" – _Chopper_

"Oh well." – _Franky_

"Dammit" – _Chopper_

"Don't worry, they're having _SUPER_ shots of water they're persuaded it's vodka" – _Franky_

"Won't work for long but there's that" – _Franky_

"Thank you!" – _Chopper_

* * *

"Heyya 〜(￣▽￣〜)" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"So huh, you might probably get random texts d=(´▽｀)=b" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"From you?" – _Luffy_

"Huh, yeah, probably, and Law °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"What's up?" – _Luffy_

"Well we're kinda having a fight?" – _Shachi and Penguin_

"A fight? Who? ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)" – _Luffy_

"Well, huh, everyone? Jean, Law, Bepo, us, everyone ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"you ok guys?" – _Luffy_

"Yeahhhh nooooo don't worry it's just an argumetn (ʃƪ¬‿¬)" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"We're kinda wasted" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"I'd say drunk" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"YEAAH we tots drunk lmao" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"They're all drunk here too shishishi" – _Luffy_

"Oh what's up" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"They're having a debate over who is in a secret relationship or not I think?" – _Luffy_

"LMAO" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"THAT IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE–" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"Yeah?" – _Luffy_

"Nooooooooooooooooooo nevermiiiind （*థ౪థ）" _– Shachi and Penguin_

"Kay?" – _Luffy_

"ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(๑ʘ∀ʘ)┘FuCk GOtTA gO ByE" _– Shachi and Penguin_

* * *

"[Video]" – _Nami_

"I can't load this" – _Usopp_

"What if I come to your place?" – _Nami_

"I can load this" – _Usopp_

"Oh my god?" – _Usopp_

"I can't believe Zoro let Luffy have his swords he must be really wasted" – _Usopp_

"Is that what you're getting out of this? Really?" – _Nami_

"Listen, you can ask him anything, being drunk doesn't mean being honest." – _Usopp_

"He confessed he _did_ erase Sanji's messages!" – _Nami_

"He also confessed he wished he were a katana two seconds earlier." – _Usopp_

" _TO BE HELD BY SANJI'S HANDS_ " – _Nami_

"What" – _Usopp_

"I filmed too late. But seriously Usopp? Just come and see. The bet's done." – _Nami_

"Nami, the bet was about whether or not they were dating right?" – _Usopp_

"And I won." – _Nami_

"Well, we just saw they had some... intimate time together. But does that mean date? Really?" – _Usopp_

"What the fuck?" – _Nami_

"You know, like. Huh. You don't have to date to do those things." – _Usopp_

"Usopp what are you doing" – _Nami_

"Friends with benefits." – _Usopp_

"(❀◦‿◦) I'm sorry?" – _Nami_

"Maybe they're just friends with benefits. Maybe they're not dating." – _Usopp_

"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU RIGHT NOW" – _Nami_

"YOU CAN'T BLAME ME I'M ONLY STATING FACTS LIKE WOULD HAVE DONE" – _Usopp_

"YEAH BUT THAT'S JUST FOR ME YOU DON'T GET TO FUCKING DO THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME" – _Nami_

"Oh well I guess I just did anyway (ᅌᴗᅌ* )" – _Usopp_

"I will murder you and eat your bones for breakfast." – _Nami_

"..." – _Usopp_

"And don't even think about blocking me because _I will prove it to you_ and _I will find you_." – _Nami_

* * *

"Sanji, don't forget to drink water between two drinks!" – _Chopper_

* * *

[Group conversation]

"Another bar?" – _Jean Bart_

"Another bar." – _Penguin_

"Another bar." – _Shachi_

"I guess we'll go for another bar hh" – _Bepo_

* * *

"? Zoro just asked me what was the French for baguette? But I don't speak French Sanji does?" – _Luffy_

"... Luffy-ya" – _Torao_

"Do you know?" – _Luffy_

"Oh my god" – _Torao_

* * *

"Oh my god they're singing _I Want It That Way_ (꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)" – _Nami_

"I am forced to go outside" – _Nami_

"Zoro and Sanji?" – _Usopp_

"YES." – _Nami_

"They're DUMB and DRUNK and I HAVE EARS." – _Nami_

"I'm surprised you don't record them ( ﾟｰﾟ)" – _Usopp_

"I already recorded them on _What is Love_ and _Never Gonna Give You Up_ , they're completely wasted. Even Luffy's a bit tipsy, Zoro provoked him and Sanji advised him." – _Nami_

" _Depravity_ " – _Usopp_

* * *

"oihdlnkfd" – _Luffy_

"bdekfn fdkjxn; kzeslds xkdszkl" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Wha zdns" – _Torao_

[...]

"iozhel" – _Luffy_

* * *

"How about we call off the bet? ˉ(´ᗨ`)ˉ" – _Usopp_

[...]

"Usopp, really?" – _Nami_

"Seriously. Dude, I'm poor. I'd do anything you want." – _Usopp_

"Anything?" – _Nami_

" _Then perish." – Nami_

* * *

"I made a mistake and I'm gonna die ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯" – _Usopp_

"What is it this time, Usopp-kun?" – _Robin_

"The deal with Nami?" – _Usopp_

"I have a bunker if you want. There's Wi-Fi." – _Robin_

"You're my one true friend ૮(ꂧꁞꂧ)ა" – _Usopp_

":)" – _Robin_

"But you also know that will never last, right?" – _Robin_

"I know." – _Usopp_

"She will find a way." – _Robin_

"Please I'm already having nightmares don't make it worse щ(ಥДಥщ)" – _Usopp_

* * *

"ohifked ekjdbss ekzkozhljndlskcd" – _Luffy_

"What?" – _Usopp_

"hoireldkn" – _Luffy_

[Missed call]

[Missed call]

"You ok buddy?" – _Usopp_

"Ah sorry 'Sop it was in my pocket!" – _Luffy_

"Oh right, so how's it going? Nami told me you drank?" – _Usopp_

"Nah not much" – _Luffy_

"Wanna join? °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° it's great you're missing something c'mon we have a karaoke and everything!" – _Luffy_

"Just met new guys they're great! One of them looks like a big bear shishi" – _Luffy_

"Hm actually I can't focus so yeah?" – _Usopp_

"Yeahhh come here!" – _Luffy_

"Kay Omw" – _Usopp_

* * *

"Luffy, if you drink please get water too!" – _Chopper_

"Yeah don't worry I don't really drink!" – _Luffy_

"How you doin' Chopper?" – _Luffy_

"I'm done with studying I'm heading to bed now!" – _Chopper_

"Congrats! You rock! ᕙ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ) ᕗ" – _Luffy_

"Shut up that doesn't make me happy at all edziuhk (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))" – _Chopper_

"( ˆᴗˆ )" – _Luffy_

" (ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶" – _Chopper_

* * *

[Group conversation]

"Omg lov htis bar's atmshpere (ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ)" – _Penguin_

"d=(´▽｀)=b Me2 man gr8 sungs"– _Shachi_

"Wait guys where is Law" – _Bepo_

"I don't see him with you over there" – _Bepo_

"wat" – _Penguin_

"ain't it him on stage?" – _Shachi_

"HOLY SHIT" – _Shachi_

"They're singin?" – _Shachi_

"He's singing _Take On Me_ oh my god" – _Jean Bart_

"... He's durnk? ヾ(^ิ∀^ิ)" – _Shachi_

"He iz" – _Penguin_

"Wouldn't do that sober" – _Jean Bart_

"we did it" – _Shachi_

"omg" – _Penguin_

"god" – _Jean Bart_

"sodb proudb" – _Shachi_

"hhh" – _Penguin_

"You guys" – _Bepo_

"Wtf is tihs new song (ಠ.ಠ)" – _Shachi_

"Ooh eeh ooh ah aah ting tang walla walla bing" – _Bepo_

"Lmao Bepo's one of uuus \（థ౪థ）/" – _Penguin_

"No I'm not that's actually the name of the song" – _Bepo_

"hhh" – _Shachi_

"Howdya kno s'well" – _Penguin_

"Don't ask." – _Bepo_

* * *

"Maan I never saw Law lieke that" – _Penguin_

"R u ok?" – _Shachi_

"Idk" – _Penguin_

"(ಠ.ಠ) That guy wiht him he look familiar?" – _Penguin_

"Wanna go out?" – _Shachi_

"ye" – _Penguin_

"Where r you" – _Shachi_

"W8 I see u" – _Penguin_

* * *

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"Look Torao I made new friends tonight! :D" – _Luffy_

"They're so fun!" – _Luffy_

"I love the tall guy's tattoos looks so cool" – _Luffy_

* * *

"WHERE THE FUCK IS LAW AGAIN?" – _Jean Bart_

"WELL I THOUGHT HE WAS WITH YOU?" – _Shachi_

"Guys are you fucking serious" – _Jean Bart_

"Well you can freakin talk, he was supposed to stay next to you!" – _Shachi_

"Supposed? Like assigned? are you kidding me he doesn't need baby sitting（╬ಠ益ಠ)" – _Jean Bart_

"Hhhhh WHEN SOMEONE IS DRUNK YOU WATCH THEM" – _Shachi_

"BUT WE'RE ALL DRUNK ლ(ಠ益ಠლ" – _Penguin_

"Lmoa he spent 20secnds tpying thsi msseage" – _Bepo_

"Wooooooh Bepo savage" – _Shachi_

"At least _I_ try not to make typos anymore 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸" – _Penguin_

* * *

"You disappeared?" – _Franky_

"Don't worry I called a cab I was tired" – _Nami_

"Oh alright, take _suuuuper_ care!" – _Franky_

"Thanks you too Franky" – _Nami_

* * *

"Safely home?" – _Vivi_

"Yes, thanks for asking ƪ(ˆ◡ˆ)ʃ" – _Nami_

"Well thank _you_ for walking me home in the first place!" – _Vivi_

"Don't mention it, it was my pleasure" – _Nami_

"I will go to sleep now, but it was great to meet you" – _Vivi_

"Likewise! Goodnight!" – _Nami_

"Goodnight! (*^▽^*)" – _Vivi_

* * *

Hm so as stated in the fic, having fun is nice, but this is a friendly reminder that you don't have to drink to have a nice time, that alcohol doesn't fix nor make everything better and Chopper's messages are a good reminder that the next 24h are not always the best after such a party.  
A heads up to next chapter: consequences, memes, and probably the "I'll never drink again" mood.

Thank you again for your feedbacks and your support!


	9. Chapter 9

Oh my god this fic has an actual plot

This is how I end 2018. With pride. I am so happy I challenged myself and finished another chapter before 2019.  
I'd like to thank my brotonki, the best of the bests, the amazing and the incredible Shishiswordsman, who corrected me and gave me such nice feedbacks. Every chapter is another step in fear of going ooc. I am very happy everyone seems to enjoy this and I am so glad to get some comments on my tumblr! You are all amazing and I am very grateful for your feedbacks.  
I dedicate this chapter to all of you. For your support.  
Enjoy~

* * *

 **The Hangover or How To Survive The Consequences**

* * *

"Bepo, where the fuck am I?" – _Law_

[...]

"Bepo where are you? There's only Jean with me, and we're…" – _Law_

"I have no idea." – _Law_

"Hey Law! So yesterday, we wanted to come back home but you kept saying you didn't want to go home, for some reason. The guys we were hanging out with told us they weren't very far so you and Jean decided to go. ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧ I really wanted to come home so I drove back with Penguin and Shachi, who, by the way, were completely high." – _Bepo_

"What the fuck?" – _Law_

"You're joking right?" – _Law_

"No? I mean I've never seen you like that, but that's pretty much what happened." – _Bepo_

"What else happened?" – _Law_

"... What do you remember? (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – _Bepo_

[...]

"I remember going to a few bars. Shachi and Penguin wanted to sing." – _Law_

"Yeahhhh right" – _Bepo_

"What?" – _Law_

"They were not the only ones who wanted to sing ( ﾟｰﾟ)" – _Bepo_

"I didn't" – _Law_

"Oh yes you did" – _Bepo_

"What else?" – _Law_

"If you forgot maybe it's for the best (≖͞_≖̥)" – _Bepo_

"Why do I have drawings all over my chest?" – _Law_

"The guy you were hanging out with thought your tattoos were funny" – _Bepo_

"What?" – _Law_

"And you _**both**_ thought adding 'more' was the best idea of the century ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭." – _Bepo_

"I need to get out of here." – _Law_

"I can come to get you if you want?" – _Bepo_

"Don't bother, I'll call a cab." – _Law_

"You can try" – _Bepo_

"What do you mean?" – _Law_

"You left your wallet in my car. Just give me half an hour, I'll be there. Is Jean ok?" – _Bepo_

"He's fine, snoring for now. How are Shachi and Penguin?" – _Law_

"I have no idea what happened but they kept crying and hugging each other on the whole way back. High, I'm telling you" – _Bepo_

"What the fuck happened last night" – _Law_

"Don't ask me. Drink some water, I'm on my way." – _Bepo_

"I know. Thanks." – _Law_

* * *

"We need to talk." – _Ero-cook_

"Zoro?" – _Ero-cook_

"This is Urgent" – _Ero-cook_

"What's up?" – _Marimo_

"What's up? Do you remember what happened last night?" – _Ero-cook_

"Oh yeah, that was fun" – _Marimo_

"Fuck no? Nami knows! They all know!" – _Ero-cook_

"And?" – _Marimo_

"? You don't fucking care?" – _Ero-cook_

"Not really. I'm surprised they took so long to realise tbh 눈_눈" – _Marimo_

[...]

"So you don't mind?" – _Ero-cook_

"What?" – _Marimo_

"You know what." – _Ero-cook_

"Say it" – _Marimo_

"Fuck no" – _Ero-cook_

"I guess I'm braver than you for saying it first then" – _Marimo_

"What?" – _Ero-cook_

"You're so fucking stupid, Sanji" – _Marimo_

[Phone call]

[Ongoing call]

[End of the phone call]

* * *

"Usopp?" – _Nami_

"Sanji just got a phone call." – _Nami_

"And?" – _Usopp_

"It was… it was Zoro" – _Nami_

"What's wrong?" – _Usopp_

"Well earlier I was talking to Sanji about yesterday and how they did look very close. I might have mentioned the pictures, too. He almost dropped his croissant." – _Nami_

"What about Zoro's phone call?" – _Usopp_

"Well, he called like an hour later. Sanji looked both furious and confused. The hangover might not help, I might say. They had an argument. I think it was pretty serious." – _Nami_

"Sanji hung up on Zoro and he did not look good." – _Nami_

"Is Zoro okay? When I left with those guys last night, he was going home with Luffy and they seemed fine!" – _Usopp_

"No don't worry he's fine it's just" – _Nami_

"Zoro confessed" – _Nami_

"Zoro _what_ ( _ )" – _Usopp_

"He told Sanji about, huh, his feelings" – _Nami_

"=͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)? Zoro? Are you sure he wasn't still drunk or that it was really him?" – _Usopp_

"It was him. That's why Sanji was so mad." – _Nami_

"Fuck. But I thought they were dating already?" – _Usopp_

"SO YOU ADMIT IT (❀◦‿◦)" – _Nami_

"I think the situation is more important than our bet right now? ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)" – _Usopp_

"Anyway I asked Sanji if he wanted to talk and he refused. I'm a bit worried." – _Nami_

"Did you try to talk to Zoro to know what was up?" – _Usopp_

"No but I'm thinking maybe you or Luffy could do something about it?" – _Nami_

"Yeah we'll see ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)" – _Usopp_

* * *

 **[Previous messages]**

" _[Picture MMS]" – Luffy_

" _Look Torao I made new friends tonight! :D" – Luffy_

" _There's so fun!" – Luffy_

" _I love the tall guy's tattoos looks so cool" – Luffy_

 **[Now]**

"Omg yesterday was amazing Torao ( ▽ )" – _Luffy_

"I guess you were busy though since you didn't reply!" – _Luffy_

"It would have been fun if you had been there too! (งಠل͜ಠ)ง" – _Luffy_

[...]

"I ate four whole cakes -(๑ ▽ #)ᕗ" – _Luffy_

"I think that's why those parties are the best. °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° People bring food, have fun but really? ヽ(ー_ー )ノ while they drink, they forget everything." – _Luffy_

"They lose sight of what _really_ matters ᕙ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ) " – _Luffy_

"I would have left you some tho ヽ(´ー`)ﾉ" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Maybe" – _Luffy_

[...]

"I think" – _Luffy_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"We were lucky the bartender had some indelible pen shishi, those were some nice tattoos (๑✧◡✧๑)" – _Luffy_

[...]

"I can see that, you're a real artist" – _Torao_

"Thanks ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" – _Luffy_

"Did the guy know it was... indelible?" – _Torao_

"Yeah! He said it'd be like a tattoo but cheaper! (ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ)" – _Luffy_

"Sure he did" – _Torao_

"What else happened?" – _Torao_

"We sang several songs on stage it was pretty awesome. It was pretty hot in there so most people were topless and that's when I saw the tattoos! ╚═། . ◯ o ◯ . །═╝" – _Luffy_

"At some point people got too much into it though cause they kep yelling 'strip tease' at us - there was also a girl and Usopp -, Nami was ready to kill them d=(´▽｀)=b" – _Luffy_

"But the tattooed guy's friends stopped him before he could do anything more" – _Luffy_

"I wonder if he had other tattoos hidden" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Some mysteries are better left unsolved." – _Torao_

* * *

"What happened when I was on stage?" – _Law_

"You remember?" – _Bepo_

"Tell me" – _Law_

"You huh, sang?" – _Bepo_

"And then?" – _Law_

"Er" – _Bepo_

"BEPO." – _Law_

"Well you took off your shirt and then, well people encouraged you to… you know (￣□￣)" – _Bepo_

"But I stopped it before anything happened" – _Bepo_

"What the fuck" – _Law_

"This is why going out was not a fucking good plan" – _Law_

"Because you want to strip tease? ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ Don't worry you weren't the only one" – _Bepo_

"If you hadn't helped me yesterday, I would murder you right now." – _Law_

"I couldn't help much for the pictures though" – _Bepo_

"W h" – _Law_

"Ask the others, and probably the guy you're staying at, too └(oﾟ∀ﾟo)┘" – _Bepo_

"And where am I staying at?" – _Law_

"Huh didn't catch his name, but he is very nice and has a long nose" – _Law_

"Great" – _Law_

"Did you leave already?" – _Law_

"No, I needed to get some food first. I'm a living being too, you know. Did you get something to eat? Hangover?" – _Bepo_

"I'm handling it." – _Law_

* * *

"I can't handle it" – _Usopp_

"But we had a bet." – _Nami_

"I'm sure we can make an arrangement? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧" – _Usopp_

"I will sue you" – _Nami_

" _You wouldn't"_ – _Usopp_

"Listen I know Luffy gave you a kitty. I'm willing to take care of it whenever you need it. I'll create a few things for you, too. Twice a year." – _Usopp_

"Twice? That's all?" – _Nami_

"That's already a lot! Imagine how long it takes for me? (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ʃƪ)" – _Usopp_

"Alas! And I thought we could get to an arrangement…" – _Nami_

"Two inventions and the plan of the next three to come!" – _Usopp_

"Two and I get to choose the two next. With a deadline. For two years." – _Nami_

"Σ('◉⌓◉') two year? I have deadlines and-" – _Usopp_

"Well you better get started now then" – _Nami_

"You're heartless (꒪⌓꒪)" – _Usopp_

"I still have those pictures stuck in the corner my brain." – _Nami_

* * *

"(｢⊙Д⊙)｢ Oh Torao did you know?" – _Luffy_

"Zoro and Sanji are banging! (ง ʘ ʖ ʘ)ง" – _Luffy_

"Excuse me?" – _Torao_

"Huh that's what Franky said, laughing" – _Luffy_

"You mean, they're having sex?" – _Torao_

"Like, they're together? ᕕ( ◎_◎)ᕗ" – _Luffy_

"You don't have to be together with someone to have sex. Just like you don't have to have sex with someone when you're dating them." – _Torao_

"Yeah well they are? Dating? I THINK? (｢⊙Д⊙)｢" – _Luffy_

"You _think_?" – _Torao_

"I haven't really checked? ఠ ͟ಠ" – _Luffy_

"No no I was just pointing out the thinking part" – _Torao_

"Oh" – _Luffy_

"HEY RUDE? ヽ༼ ಠ益ಠ ༽ﾉ" – _Luffy_

"¯\\_(ツ)_/¯" – _Torao_

"Is that Shachi or Penguin again?" – _Luffy_

"No?" – _Torao_

"Who are you Torao would only send smileys when he's being harassed or drunk." – _Luffy_

"That's horribly specific and I hate that you know that." – _Torao_

* * *

 _Ero-cook to Marimo._

[Phone call]

[Ongoing call]

[End of the phone call]

* * *

"They're dating!" – _Luffy_

"What makes you so sure?" – _Torao_

[...]

"Instinct (⊙ヮ⊙)!" – _Luffy_

"Why am I still here" – _Torao_

* * *

"Did you hear about Sanji and Zoro?" – _Usopp_

"Yeah?" – _Luffy_

"Do you know what we should do about it?" – _Usopp_

"? Party? More food?" – _Luffy_

"... what?" – _Usopp_

"Ain't it what we usually do then?" – _Luffy_

"What are you talking about?" – _Usopp_

"Zoro and Sanji dating?" – _Luffy_

"No, they just had a fight ఠ ͟ಠ" – _Usopp_

"What are _you_ talking about? Sanji just came over and kissed Zoro" – _Luffy_

"WHAT" – _Usopp_

"They're on the couch insulting and huh, complimenting each other Idk I'm not sure." – _Luffy_

"Sanji's leaving for work and Zoro decided to walk with him" – _Luffy_

"Holy shit ,､'`( ꒪Д꒪),､'`'`,､" – _Usopp_

"Ikr? He'll take hours to come back home again" – _Luffy_

"Luffy that's clearly not what my 'holy shit' was referring to" – _Usopp_

* * *

"How was your evening?" – _Penguin_

"Pretty well actually! (*˘︶˘*). I really enjoyed myself. And you?" – _Caty_

"Honestly, could have been worse" – _Penguin_

"So did it go well?" – _Caty_

"We could say that. Saw Law getting drunk, unforgettable. I bet he will deny it all and say he doesn't remember though. Or he might really not remember, that'd be hilarious" – _Penguin_

"Law?" – _Caty_

"Ah yes, my friend's name" – _Penguin_

"Does this Law have someone in his life?" – _Caty_

"As in, a partner?" – _Penguin_

"Yes" – _Caty_

"Huh no, well not officially, for now I guess. Why are you interested in him?" – _Penguin_

"Oh, you know, just being curious. Women's nature! ー( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ" – _Caty_

* * *

"Oh and we went on the roofs! ╭ (oㅇ‿ o#)ᕗ" – _Luffy_

"You what?" – _Torao_

"Well it was Usopp's idea to go there 〜(￣▽￣〜)" – _Luffy_

"[Picture MMS]" – _Luffy_

"He and Franky worked on this thing to look at the sky in a different way" – _Luffy_

"That was so freaking cool" – _Luffy_

"And where was I?" – _Torao_

"*the tattooed guy; 'he' I mean" – _Torao_

"Oh huh he came along! (≧∇≦)/ Kept saying he had to stay awake for some reason" – _Luffy_

"Oh and I asked him if he wanted a kitty he said yes! So I should visit him at Usopp's to ask which one he'd like, though not a lot of choices left." – _Luffy_

* * *

"You need to come _now_." – _Law_

"I'll wait in front of the All Blue restaurant. Please _hurry_." – _Law_

[...]

"I'm here in 5. What happened? Did you get Jean?" – _Bepo_

"No time. He was taking too long. He said he'd be fine." – _Law_

"You said that, too, yesterday." – _Bepo_

"How about we never talk about yesterday" – _Law_

"That's not much of a choice is it?" – _Bepo_

"Are you driving-texting?" – _Law_

"This is Shachi typing. Bepo's driving and tells me what to write." – _Bepo_

"Good. See you in a sec." – _Law_

"Would you like to have a drink tomorrow? I know a really nice tea house to go to (ʃƪ˘⌣˘)" – _Vivi_

"Absolutely ( ˆᴗˆ )" – _Nami_

"4pm?" – _Vivi_

"I'll come to get you (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧" – _Nami_

"Great see you then (^-^*)/" – _Vivi_

* * *

"Remember when you said you wouldn't rely on Sanji's food for the rest of your life?（థ౪థ）" – _Luffy_

"It was months ago" – _Zoro_

"Still ╮( ꒪౪꒪)╭" – _Luffy_

"Stop it" – _Zoro_

"Sounds like you lied ( ˘ ³˘)" – _Luffy_

"Fucking hell I didn't lie" – _Zoro_

"Oh so you're not eating Sanji's food?" – _Luffy_

"I will block you." – _Zoro_

"We are roommates you can't block me!" – _Luffy_

"Wanna try?" – _Zoro_

"You need me to find the right flat (｢⊙Д⊙)｢!" – _Luffy_

"I can find it myself I'm not stupid I know where I live it's been 4 years!" – _Zoro_

"... Exactly." – _Luffy_

"Fuck" – _Zoro_

"Zoro's in love~ ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎ " – _Luffy_

"I'm moving out" – _Zoro_

"To Sanji's?" – _Luffy_

"Oh mY GoD hH" – _Zoro_

* * *

"Shitty marimo looks pretty pissed what the fuck did you guys do" – _Sanji_

"Nothing ヽ(´ー`)ﾉ" – _Brook_

"Liars" – _Sanji_

"When are you two moving in together? ૮(ꂧꁞꂧ)ა" – _Brook_

"FoR FUck's SAkE" – _Sanji_

* * *

"Luffy Tattoos-Man just left" – _Usopp_

"What so early? I didn't introduce him to the kittens yet! I should have told him to come at my place" – _Luffy_

"yea sorry, I was busy trying to wake the other and he just left without a word (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – _Usopp_

"well too bad for him he's missing a great kitty" – _Luffy_

"Wait, is his friend still there?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah? ( ᐛ )و" – _Usopp_

"I could give it to him!" – _Luffy_

"Or you could, like a normal and understanding person, just ask for the other guy's number to ask if he still wants one rather than just, giving it right away to a perfect stranger?" – _Usopp_

"Ah that too" – _Luffy_

"Ask him!" – _Luffy_

* * *

"Law?" – _Jean Bart_

"Yes?" – _Law_

"The long-nose man asked for your number" – _Jean Bart_

"What now? if I forgot something just take it" – _Law_

"He says you wanted a cat?" – _Jean Bart_

[...]

"Do you really think _I_ 'd want a cat?" – _Law_

"Did I really think you'd do karaoke half-naked on stage? no. and yet, life is full of surprises. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ" – _Jean Bart_

"No I don't want a cat" – _Law_

"Well" – _Jean Bart_

"You'll get to tell him yourself then (''￣▽￣) " – _Jean Bart_

"You gave him?" – _Law_

"Sorry" – _Jean Bart_

"Fuck Jean" – _Law_

"I'll buy you pies? (｢๑•₃•)｢?" – _Jean Bart_

"That will not change anything and you know it." – _Law_

[...]

"Apple, please" – _Law_

" " – _Jean Bart_

* * *

"[Sharing contact] here's your friend's number" – _Usopp_

"Thanks! d=(´▽｀)=b" – _Luffy_

* * *

 _Luffy to Tattooed-Man_

[Missed phone call]

[Missed phone call]

[Missed phone call]

* * *

 _Bepo to Law_

[Missed phone call]

[Missed phone call]

"What's up with your phone? I can't reach you" – _Bepo_

"Someone was calling me at the same time" – _Law_

"Looks like you have a new best friend (。≖ˇ∀ˇ≖。)" – _Bepo_

" _Who_ would call someone most likely hangover after a party _three times_ for a cat's adoption?" – _Law_

"Are you talking about Luffy ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ" – _Bepo_

"You knew?" – _Law_

"What?" – _Bepo_

"That he would be at that bar?" – _Law_

"He was at the bar? Σ('⊙⌓⊙')" – _Bepo_

"Fuck" – _Law_

* * *

"Luffy I just saw your guy in front of my restaurant?" – _Sanji_

"My guy?" – _Luffy_

"The drunken guy, yknow. Zombie-man. Tattooed surgeon. Death hands creep." – _Sanji_

"Oh yeah! What about him?" – _Luffy_

"Idk, he looked pale so I went and asked him if he needed anything, but when I approached he snorted. Weirdo." – _Sanji_

"Remember when we met him?" – _Luffy_

"Yeah?" – _Sanji_

"You were as drunk as he were, so he might remember things. (ಠ⌣ಠ)" – _Luffy_

"?" – _Sanji_

"Your aborted strip tease? (థฺˇ౪ˇథ)" – _Luffy_

"WHAT" – _Sanji_

"Nami has pictures if you want to check" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Of course she has, she couldn't resist my dream body" – _Sanji_

"No that would be Zoro :D" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Alright that's not Luffy talking. Who's with you I will kick him in the throat" – _Sanji_

"Robin?" – _Luffy_

"Obviously Robin is an angel I will kick you in the throat Luffy" – _Sanji_

"¯\\_(ツ)_/¯" – _Luffy_

* * *

"I thought you knew what Luffy looked like" – _Law_

"Well there's a difference between seeing a picture and seeing someone in real!" – _Bepo_

"How did you react?" – _Bepo_

"IS THAT WHY YOU DISAPPEARED ლ(ಠ益ಠლ" – _Bepo_

"Please let's just forget about this and take me home" – _Law_

"No way. We're here, we see you. But we're not leaving until you tell us everything. ヽ[ಡ⌂ಡ]⊃" – _Bepo_

"Bepo. Shachi. What did I tell you before?" – _Law_

"' _My life isn't only about that guy'_?" – _Bepo_

"I don't remember a fucking thing." – _Law_

"Oh riiight" – _Bepo_

"How convenient" – _Bepo_

"Get in" – _Bepo_

"Do you know a 'Caty'?" – _Penguin_

"No" – _Law_

[...]

"Why?" – _Law_

"Nothing" – _Penguin_

* * *

"Do you think we die a little more when we sleep?" – _Usopp_

"..." – _Luffy_

"Ask the Surgeon of Death" – _Usopp_

* * *

"Is sleeping something you do to live or to get closer to death" – _Luffy_

"Like a preparation or something" – _Luffy_

"Maybe we were never alive" – _Luffy_

"What does being alive mean really, like maybe sleeping is actually when we live" – _Luffy_

"IF I DREAM ABOUT MEAT DOES THAT MEAN THERE IS MEAT IN THE AFTERLIFE?" – _Luffy_

"Torao?" – _Luffy_

"Congrats Luffy-ya" – _Torao_

"I'm definitely turning notifications off at night now." – _Torao_

"? OK but what about my question?" – _Luffy_

[…]

"Torao?" – _Luffy_

"( _ ) DID YOU DIE?" – _Luffy_

* * *

"I think Torao might be dead" – _Luffy_

"So sleep does bring us closer to death" – _Usopp_

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" – _Luffy_

"Yes" – _Usopp_

"Sleep is for the weak" – _Usopp_

"I asked for six pizza" – _Luffy_

"Which one this time? Final Fantasy? World of Warcraft?" – _Usopp_

"Hm something new?" – _Luffy_

"Marvel's Spider-Man PS4?" – _Usopp_

"10 pizza" – _Luffy_

"I'll send a text to Chopper when he's awake" – _Usopp_

* * *

"He's a dumbass." – _Law_

"It's 4am what" – _Bepo_

"Oh _Luffy_ " – _Bepo_

"You love him don't you" – _Bepo_

"I hate him" – _Law_

"You can't fight it you're morosexual Law (¬‿¬)" – _Bepo_

"I'm what?" – _Law_

"Attracted by dumbasses" – _Bepo_

"You did say he was a dumbass" – _Bepo_

"Why are you all doing this to me at 4am" – _Law_

"You also woke me up that's only fair (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑ " – _Bepo_

* * *

"Wanna come over for video games? (ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶" – _Usopp_

"Usopp it's 7am…" – _Chopper_

"Oh already?" – _Usopp_

"... How long have you been awake?" – _Chopper_

"We have Christmas sweets and chocolate (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧" – _Usopp_

"I'll be here in 15 minutes ((๑✧ꈊ✧๑))" – _Chopper_

"I give you 10, Luffy won't be resist any longer" – _Usopp_

* * *

"Luffy-ya, I should probably tell you something." – _Torao_

"Me too!" – _Luffy_

"We should meet! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°" – _Luffy_

"What?" – _Torao_

"Well we're in the same town aren't we? It's been _years_ since we talked now!" – _Luffy_

"Now this is quite an hyperbole" – _Torao_

"A what?" – _Luffy_

"Is the surgeon of death backing off?" – _Luffy_

"Is that a date" – _Torao_

"I MEANT A DARE" – _Torao_

"That's both" – _Luffy_

[...]

"Alright." – _Torao_

* * *

This is my Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  
By the way, the plot is progressing, and we're approaching the end. Next chapter should still be in text messages, but I'll probably, one day, have to switch to a normal narration. Or not. Who knows? Not me.  
Just a nice reminder this is fiction, and I'm playing with the infamous chaotic One Piece characters - they are NOT an example of life. Take care of yourselves, don't drink too much (especially on New Year's Eve), don't text while driving (phone calls included), and don't do anything Nami would do to win a bet (i.e.: don't trick your friends, this fic made it funny, irl? it's not cool).  
Thank you again for your feedbacks, I love you all :D


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